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EmmanuelParticipant
I just want to say something as a man. Say what is most difficult will get you results. People must not be AFRAID or FEAR to be HONEST with their spouse. Your spouse will always welcome honesty just as you will. Tell him how you feel and how you want to be fulfilled sexually. He cares, he will listen. All I am seeing is your fear or a frightened part of your personality holding you back from having a heart to heart conversation with him. Probably its your secrets you are holding that are burdening you. And I know alot about secrets in intimacy. Fear of revealing the secret and pain of keeping the secret will isolate you from your partner. It will stand between you and your partner like a cloud blocking a sun. Until you can say what is most difficult for you to say, you cannot speak from your heart, live unafraid, create health, or receive support from others. You share a secret with the intention to move toward wholeness, new possibilities appear, and your fear does not control you. You cultivate a loving part of your personality and challenge a frightened part. You become who you are instead of who others expect you to be, or who you think they expect you to be. DO NOT BE AFRAID OF THE OUTCOME. It means you need to work and focus on yourself. Great Sex and partnership comes from both of you’ll becoming connected.
Also, the worst things about secrets, whatever is in the dark always comes to light. dont wait till he finds out. Talk to him. Tell him in a counselling session or when he is not drinking. This is the man you married. You have to trust him enough that he would chose to work it out. You are going to have to be patient. You are going to have to be strong.
Say what is most difficult will get you results
EmmanuelParticipantWell what do i do from here?
EmmanuelParticipantAnita, it makes sense.
EmmanuelParticipantI must admit she started to come into my orbit when we started talking. She blamed me for a couple stuff that is going on in her life. And I am shame to say but with all the anger I had that she dumped me, I judged her and criticized her harshly. Much harsher than I have ever done when I had been in the relationship with her. Christmas Day was the last time I used a harsh words on her. She never saw me angry, in anxiety, or out of control with my emotions in the relationship. Always calm and relaxed. I think she was shocked. I just wish I had not done that. We talked good for a few days after that, we talked about probably meeting up, I was helping her out with some stuff, it was feeling like things were getting back good again. She started reaching out and I started to be more relaxed and in peace of mind. Then just all of a sudden, she went back to her old mode again. Withdrawn.
After I sent her a long message about how I am growing from this relationship and I have recognized the frighted parts of my personality and we should try to cultivate the loving parts of our personality. She sent me a message that I should move on with my life and pick up the pieces.
EmmanuelParticipantThe last 3 months she expressed the things that I hurt her in the relationship with. And I apologized and we forgave each other. She had trust issues with me and I had them with her as well, but I wanted us to work. I guess the issues were too big for her to get over.
- This reply was modified 8 years, 11 months ago by Emmanuel.
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