Reading your SCOJ, I totally validate one statement : you are a good person.

Funny your reference to red wine : back in the day people mostly drank white wine at functions …. My dad gave me great advice ‘drink red wine “ ,”why?” I asked , he replied “because you get more of it.

What is the story with your left shoulder ? …… what I am learning as I age is that many people live in constant pain .

Anita
Thank you. I am amazed by your insights and understanding based on the written words shared.

The girl visiting has posted on social media then and now photos, the then photos were taken by me 15 years ago and this girl has placed her son in the same spots and taken now photos. It is clear that her time with us 15 years ago meant a lot to her. Seeing her posts makes me emotional. I plan to write a few words to this girl in a few weeks from now to acknowledge that I really enjoyed meeting her and her family .

Warmly
Gerard

Hi Anita
Hope you are well and enjoying the summer. As this is a like a journal I want to share something that is bothering me.

When my daughter was in high school, 15 years ago, she had an exchange with a girl of a similar age from a different continent. This girl stayed with us for 5 weeks and we ensured she got life value from the experience by bringing her around the country and to cultural events. About 8 years ago my daughter did travel to this girls country and spent a few days with her. My understanding is they have been sporadically in touch with each other.

Fast forward to this week. This girl came to our town for a few days vacation with her mother, her spouse and her 5 year old son (from a previous relationship). My drive is to take care of people but my daughter arranged very few activities with these people and in my view is playing cool & distant with them. We hosted them for dinner in our home one evening, which was very successful but my daughter does not want us to do any more hosting. My daughter & her partner have a new small home, and she has not invited those people to her home, even for a coffee, I find this strange.

I feel that these people came all this way to spend time with my daughter . It would have been very expensive for them on average incomes in their home country. I feel we have let these people down and my daughter is blocking me from spending more time with them , she knows I would arrange activities which would take pressure off her.

I understand that there are people dynamics here that I don’t understand, my question is why do I feel very bothered about this situation, I put myself in the shoes of the visitors and feel a disappointment with my daughter. My wife tells me to forget about it, just roll with it as we are on the periphery.

I often feel other people pain & disappointment , whether real or imagined.

Gerard 🙂

I was in a park today and saw these thoughtful words written on a bench

How nice to sit
And think awhile
Of little things
To make you smile
Of happy things
You did in fun
Long ago
When you were young
To think of people
Who were kind
And left a ray
Of light behind
People who were
Nice to know
When you were young
Long time ago
Do come and sit
With me a while
And think of things
To make us smile

Anita,
I read your comment about your mother telling you that you were “bad”, why a parent would devalue their child and damage them for life with cruel comments is baffling.

You also wrote about the tragedy with the Idaho fire fighters. What I have noticed in recent decades is the lack of positive role models for boys and young men, this should be a father role.

Should parenting skill be thought in high school ?

Warm Regards
Gerard

Anita,
I was struct by your statement on the ten years you are on this forum and the thousands of people you guided who have vanished with just a few stalwarts like Alessa, Peter et, al. Think of the gift of positive energy you shared with these people as they navigated their own search for meaning. These thousands of people moved on because they were ready, you set them free. They are sharing positive energy with others in ways you could not imagine, the impact you have had on this world by simply having a big heart and the diligence to read, understand and reply will never be known . However, the Beatles song “The End” sums it all up so simply : “And in the end, The love you take is equal to the love you make” .

For me the most precious treasures are the connection with others, this can be a simple a shared smile with a passing stranger to a life shared with a soul mate. I believe that we are all part of the same energy field, I call it Love. Others call it God, Zen etc. We all belong, we draw life energy from the source and in time we all recognise that we are all the same.

I have absolute no doubt that you Anita have a direct line to the life giving energy source, in the connections and support you made and shared , you have are a positive life force.

Keep up your good work
Gerard