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July 14, 2025 at 6:51 am #447571
Engineer101
ParticipantAnita
You addition to the bench poem is so perfect …thank youGerard
July 6, 2025 at 9:35 am #447357Engineer101
ParticipantI was in a park today and saw these thoughtful words written on a bench
How nice to sit
And think awhile
Of little things
To make you smile
Of happy things
You did in fun
Long ago
When you were young
To think of people
Who were kind
And left a ray
Of light behind
People who were
Nice to know
When you were young
Long time ago
Do come and sit
With me a while
And think of things
To make us smileJuly 4, 2025 at 8:01 am #447331Engineer101
ParticipantDear Anita,
I read your journal and I deeply felt your pain, it is impossible to let go.It is important to journal and let it out. I journal everyday, I have a journal on people I know and have known and how they made me feel. I keep a journal for when someone in my network dies, I write about them , I find it nice when I meet a neighbour and I can say “I though about your father today as its his 7th anniversary, he was a lovely man who loved the garden” . I keep a journal on safety, when I have near miss I write about it and what lessons I take from it. I write about my day and my feelings and emotions, I write about my memories, if I have a thought on the summer of 1977, I will write down everything I remember from the summer of 1977, I keep a journal on my dreams, especially the dreams with people I know in them.
Journaling will transform your life
Gerard 🙂
July 3, 2025 at 7:44 am #447304Engineer101
ParticipantAnita,
I read your comment about your mother telling you that you were “bad”, why a parent would devalue their child and damage them for life with cruel comments is baffling.You also wrote about the tragedy with the Idaho fire fighters. What I have noticed in recent decades is the lack of positive role models for boys and young men, this should be a father role.
Should parenting skill be thought in high school ?
Warm Regards
GerardJuly 2, 2025 at 12:55 pm #447272Engineer101
ParticipantI note that you like referencing songs : this is the first song I ever remember hearing.
The whistling gypsy came over the hill,
Down to the valley so shady;
He whistled and he sang,
Till the green woods rang,
And he won the heart of a lady.Ah di doo ah di doo dah day,
Ah di doo ah de da-a-why
He whistled and he sang,
Till the green woods rang,
And he won the heart of a lady.She left her father’s castle gates;
She left her own fond lover,
She left her servants and her estate,
To follow the gypsy rover.Ah di doo ah di doo dah day,
Ah di doo ah de da-a-why
He whistled and he sang,
Till the green woods rang,
And he won the heart of a lady.He is no gypsy my father she said,
But lord of these lands over;
With him I’ll stay till my dying day,
And follow the gypsy rover.Ah di doo ah di doo dah day,
Ah di doo ah de da-a-why
He whistled and he sang,
Till the green woods rang,
And he won the heart of a lady.The whistling gypsy came over the hill,
Down to the valley so shady;
He whistled and he sang,
Till the green woods rang,
And he won the heart of a lady.Ah di doo ah di doo dah day,
Ah di doo ah de da-a-why
He whistled and he sang,
Till the green woods rang,
And he won the heart of a lady.July 2, 2025 at 12:43 pm #447271Engineer101
ParticipantAnita,
I was struct by your statement on the ten years you are on this forum and the thousands of people you guided who have vanished with just a few stalwarts like Alessa, Peter et, al. Think of the gift of positive energy you shared with these people as they navigated their own search for meaning. These thousands of people moved on because they were ready, you set them free. They are sharing positive energy with others in ways you could not imagine, the impact you have had on this world by simply having a big heart and the diligence to read, understand and reply will never be known . However, the Beatles song “The End” sums it all up so simply : “And in the end, The love you take is equal to the love you make” .For me the most precious treasures are the connection with others, this can be a simple a shared smile with a passing stranger to a life shared with a soul mate. I believe that we are all part of the same energy field, I call it Love. Others call it God, Zen etc. We all belong, we draw life energy from the source and in time we all recognise that we are all the same.
I have absolute no doubt that you Anita have a direct line to the life giving energy source, in the connections and support you made and shared , you have are a positive life force.
Keep up your good work
GerardJune 30, 2025 at 12:43 pm #447214Engineer101
ParticipantAnita,
You have such a magical way with words, woven thoughtful answers that bring comfort and also challenging when needed.
I love your phrase ‘belated grace’ , it speaks volumes about the passage of time and emotional growth.As we navigate life at the speed of light we can be oblivious to what we are building and destroying as we strive for one goal after another. You write : “As more of our lives stretch behind us” we begin to understand the full story, what I have come to cherish is the personal insights and awareness of others that comes with aging and daily reflection.
A number of years ago our eldest daughter was devastated after a break up , at this point I became acutely aware of what I had done to my old girlfriend, it hit me like a freight train, I began to imagine her pain through the medium of my daughters broken heart.
Another lesson I learnt from my children in later life : I always took my responsibility to provide for the family as my primary mission in life. We were a one income family , my wife dedicated her life to creating a loving and safe environment where our children could be happy and thrive. I worked long hours and travelled a lot to different contracts , feeling that we were creating the best possible home for our young family. A few years ago my daughter said that I was never around when they were young. That hurt, but that was here experiences & memories.
Warmly, Gerard
June 30, 2025 at 9:50 am #447206Engineer101
ParticipantAnita,
Thank you for your soulful insights, it is clear you understand the human spirit.Your question on what I hoped for if I said “hello” is complex as it resonates on many levels.
Opening, I would like to be polite and recognise that we knew each other, but deeper down I feel guilty for the way I ended our relationship. We dated for 2 years, she was 20. One summer, I met my wife to be at a party and knew instantly that we were soulmates. So, I abruptly ended the relationship, for the first year she kept reaching out to understand why but I never engaged as I did not want to do anything with another woman that would jeopardize my new love. Also, my wife was with me when I saw her and felt I did not want to explain who she was to my wife. When I saw my old girlfriend the other day, I took a minute to compose myself and decide what to do , but by that time she had left the shop.At another level I wanted to say “hello” as I have become nostalgic in my 60’s, with time on my hands I have connected with old friends and relations that I have lost contact with over the decades.
Engineer
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