Hi,

I understand what Anita is saying. And I also understand what you are saying too, Myles.

at the end of the day, regardless of the situation, the pain is the same. It is real and it is deep and it cuts like a knife.

And I’m sorry you are still feeling this pain. But time really does heal all. I have learned over many years and with much resistance that, unfortunately, some of the greatest lessons are learned through this pain. Even if it feels like there is no way out.

I think I am finally breaking through the other side. Some days are harder than others. I have a good therapist and that helps. I wish I could stop holding myself back.

I guess what I m trying to say is, pain is inevitable. But you appear to have the talent to turn this pain in to something good.

And I wish you a lifetime of joy, pain and great success.

Hi!!!

It makes my day seeing your responses!!! I am sorry to hear that things went a little south for awhile. I understand how frustrating things can be but it really sounds like you are doing an excellent job at keeping things together. Congrats on scoring an interview for a physical therapy job!

Your reply came at the perfect time. I have been struggling with keeping my head up through this job search. That, and I am in a relationship with someone who doesn’t understand that his occasional rage hurts me mentally and kills my emotional security. I suffer from ptsd as a result of multiple serious traumas in my life so when we fight, it opens many old wounds and takes me back a step or two sometimes. I tell him that, but it seems to go in one ear and out the other when he feels threatend of any sorts. I am also in recovery for alcoholism. I will be sober for three years this July and while I am grateful at this second chance in life, it is difficult for me to build self esteem when insults are thrown around. I feel more lost now thsn when I started out, despite my serious efforts to improve. I was hoping in this time I have had out of work, I could pursue my talents as a writer and artist but in juggling many things at once, I have lost all direction and most motivation, fearing I should just give up on my natural talents and go back in to what I was doing before (corporate world). Like you, I know I could change the world, but I don’t know how I could go about that. What are the most effective ways for you to handle adversity?

I smiled when I saw your response yesterday because it came on a “good” day for me. I spent all day thoroughly searching job sites, sending out my resume and applications with a positive mindset, rather than a feeling of dread or fear. Your confidence reminder kept me going through out. I admire your motivation and talent to continue writing and getting it out there. You do a great job and I look forward to reading what you have shared with us!!!

I’m grateful to have crossed paths with you. You appear to be my angel of wisdom when I need one the most. I love your optimism and sincerely hope I have not been a negative nancy through out this. I am learning how to communicate better and am really interested in the steps you take to remain so positive while you are experiencing some similar experiences as me.

Hi Kyniska,

I am grateful for you and your post. I haven’t been on the forums in awhile, struggling with some stuff going on. I thought, “Hey, I bet visiting Tiny Buddha will help. It’s worth a shot.” Your post was the first thing I saw. So thank you for being here and sharing. You helped me breathe again.

Also, you mentioned you gave up Christianity six months ago.

Raised in the deep South of the USA, I could never quite jump on to the idea of organized religion. However, my childhood best friend is a preachers wife and daughter, heavily involved with the church. So I respect everyones beliefs, regardless.

With that said, I do believe in believing in something. I call my higher power, Grandma. I really believe she is with me all the time based off of occurrences that happen often.

If that is just too much right now, begin by believing in yourself. A lady told my fiancee recently on a plane ride that there is no point in living if you don’t have dreams to live for.

So no matter what, remember to believe. Best of luck!

Jd

Hi Mermaid!

I appreciate you reaching out to me on my other post and wanted to drop by and familiarize myself with your current situation.

To begin with, 29 is NOT old. WE are not old! In fact, I made so many bad decisions in my past, I look forward to turning thirty next year! For some reason or another, it seems therapeutic to be able to leave my “young naive, learning” years behind. So that is the positive perspective I have on being fortunate to be 29! We don’t necessarily have to have accomplished any major goals by a specific deadline, we are just fortunate to be older and wiser and several miles farther from the instances we might otherwise regret…and after being in marketing for a number of years, I can say numbers do help flip the mindset! 30 seems exciting and new compared to 29. It’s the beginning of a new chapter. Begin a countdown celebration to your birthday, now!

That said, I can also relate to moving back somewhere, expecting to automatically return to the great joy and happiness the environment provided me, previously. My fiance and I argue – a lot lately, with all the stress we are enduring. We are passionate and we are in love with one another, but sometimes I find myself wondering if moving him to my hometown and changing his entire life plan, was a good idea. I worry he might resent me at some point, though he is not the type at all. I don’t know your exact situation regarding your ex, but I can tell you I relate to moving back to a place of happiness and experiencing difficulties with the loved one.

I can’t give you any specific advice there without further information, but I want you to know that those who are meant to be in your life, will find you, and if they leave, they will find a way to come back, one way or another. And if he is not meant to be, try to take the lessons you learned from the relationship and apply those to future relationships and your life in general. What do you need/desire/require/want in yourself, in order to find that in others? Have you decided you want to change the world and listen to John Lennon all day, inspired to write one life changing idea after another? Then it’s probably not a good idea to find someone who hits the bars every night. That’s incredibly broad, but meant to get the point across, that once you discover your innermost desires, only then can you truly know real love.

Perhaps you have spent several years battling CFS that you haven’t really been allowed enough time to explore what makes you happy? If you find you connect with nature in a way that awes and inspires you, spend more time outside walking, jogging, yoga in the park, gardening. You’ll find a sense of peace in whatever your “preferred” environment and at that point, the dots should begin to connect again, and the ideas will trickle in.

At least that is what happened for me. But I believe you will find your way back on the path of clarity. It is said, it is always darkest before the dawn. Just remember to let it be and believe there will be an answer. (In the jumbled words of the great Mr. John Lennon!)

I wish you the best of luck!!!

Love,
jd