Thank you matt for your kind words, I am having councelling within the church, and am considering a freedom in christ course, I just dont want to feel like im constantly bothering people with my problems, the thing I dont understand is that its not even anger at my abusers, its anger at everything I, ve lost, being isolated in the care home, my abusers not being prosecuted, the fact that I cant give my wonderful husband a child, things I cant stop myself from thinking about every day, I just want to be finally at peace, but its good for me to open up like this, and im so glad I joined this site.