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Gina

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Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
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  • #114008
    Gina
    Participant

    I understand what you are going through. It took me 4 weeks to be able to talk things out with the man I recently broke up with and it still hurts. I know what Inky is trying to state when saying “He was the one who broke up with you”. It’s kind of how I felt when I broke it off with my guy. He wasn’t willing to try or fight for me so it felt like a rejection from him.

    The fact that he was crying too when you parted ways, shows a significant amount of caring and respect of you. At least I think so. He wouldn’t be showing his vulnerability like that if he truly didn’t care. So at least you can take comfort in that. Just try to keep on going…Go find a group activist you can join where you will make new connections. I’m not suggesting go find a another partner now, just go meet new people and different social circles. It will help take your mind of the pain or at lease work through it. You never know where it will lead. You may meet someone else and realize this guy was what lead you to a new beginning or it may take you back to giving it another shot with him.

    This seems cheesy but the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” can be true, especially if it were meant to be. For now, get out there and create. Create some new experiences and new connections and continue finding new ways to grow.

    #114003
    Gina
    Participant

    Thank you &monklet80 and to you @zen76. Like most everyone, I’ve dealt with a significant amount of loss and trust and It has helped getting the feedback from such sound minded people.

    #113915
    Gina
    Participant

    Thanks for the reply monklet80. J and R are very competitive with each other and other people so I’m thinking this was a result of their competitive nature. I never thought about it until recently.

    I am seeing a therapist for my PTSD and anxiety and she has also trying to help me understand my need to apologize and show me this is not anything I’ve done wrong and to be kinder to myself. I know I hurt R’s feelings which is probably why I feel the need to say sorry. I have a great deal of empathy for both of them. I think those have to discredit others, may have something deep seeded and disapproving in themselves.

    I have told J how I feel but J tells me R was embellishing and continues to deny violating my trust to that extent. I feel J’s probably not ready to recognize their role in it and I understand. I dont want to have to maintain my friendships avoiding the elephants in the room.

    I do have other friends whom I’ve never had these sorts of issues with so I’ve been spending more time with them.

    Thank you again @monklet80, I really appreciate hearing your take on it.

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)