Thank you everyone for the replies. anita, you’re exactly right with the relationship being mostly about thinking. I spent a lot more time thinking about her than actually seeing her. As for the breakup it was a few things. Partially it seemed to be that I got an internship on the other side of the county and she couldn’t join me due to money issues. It had already been a few weeks since we’d seen each other, and we were afraid of spending 9 weeks apart this summer. We were both in dark places at the time, feeling depressed and unsatisfied with our own lives. I think we became dependent on each other for happiness and fulfillment instead of finding ourselves. Her final reasoning was that she had fallen out of love in the last few months, and was continuing the relationship due to comfort and dependency. Although I miss her and the closeness I had with her I realize the breakup was the right thing to happen for us both.
I’ve been trying to drive myself into feeling better, and I realize now that I need to accept and feel these emotions. Thank you everyone for the kindness.