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    Dear Helcat,

    Thank you so much for replying.

    – I’m used to not complimenting people. I guess it’s because my parents never complimented me during my childhood. They only complimented me when I did really good. But that was really rare. So when I realized this, I started learning to praise people. Unfortunately, at the same time, I felt like a hypocrite because when someone did something not that good ( in my opinion) but they are really proud of themselves, I still praised them. But It made me feel disgusted with myself.

    “People with low emotional intelligence can have disorders that are the cause. No matter how hard people try for people with disorders this issue may never change.”

    – May I know what kind of disorders are that??


    Dear Anita,

    Sorry for late reply. I was overwhelming by the social interaction anxiety these few days.

    “This is a significant part of what a low EI is about: being aware of, and reacting to your own emotionswhile having no adequate awareness of the other person’s emotions and therefore not considering the other’s emotions when reacting.”

    – Thank you for letting me seeing the new perspectives. You are right, I have been paying attention to my emotions and not the other person’s. I never thought of that before. I always thought my empathy was very strong. But when it comes to communicate, it’s not working at all.

    About this NPAR strategy, could you recommend me any books that I could read to help to improve my EI? I would love to learn and improve my EI. I have been struggling about social interaction or communication for my whole life and I know it is really important for my life as well my anxiety too.



    Hi anita,

    1. I’m so sorry, I got an typo. Actually is high self ego.

    2. For example, my colleague bought a house, which is a happy thing. But I asked her why she wanted to buy a house in an area with a high crime rate instead of congratulating her. I was worried about her safety but I missed the timing to explain why I said that.  She was so awkward and walked away with an unhappy face. After that, she kept targeting me.

    3. When I was in school, I was disliked by my classmates every single year. I had good friends every year of school, but at the end my friendship always didn’t end well. Recently I talked to my best friend about this, my friend told me that my emotional intelligence is very low.

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