Is it that he had something of a physically intimate experience with another woman in his life, other than you-
YES

Is it that he wanted at the time to explore the possibility of love with another woman-
YES

He’s trying to change. Hes a better person today, to speak objectively. He says sorry whenever he is wrong. I am talking very very less with him these days. He promises to be a very good partner and be up to my expectations. He’ s become patient now. I don’t reciprocate when he says “I love you” because I’m still angry and full of pain on the inside. I how hoe hurtful it is to not be reciprocated. But I trying to not be easy for weeks now.

What still bothers me is that he chose going with another person, a person who I never had a good opinion about. I dont know Anita, I didnt do that big a mistake for him to not choose me. Only I have been through his thick and thin. Why wasn’t choosing me or at least taking some time to think about us not his choice.

Will you pls tell me how to come out of this. I have anxiety . I feel even if I leave him he’ll find someone and be happy but I’ll be the only one thinking about him without moving on

Yes is the answer to your question, Anita.

I just wanted to know if he still talks with her and he said “Yes, only once in few days. She asks about my status updates. We don’t talk daily”.

I don’t know what God is testing in me or what he’s trying to tell me because there’s nothing I haven’t done for this man but he wouldn’t stop talking with her abruptly because it’d unfair to her.

I thought love and compassion is the highest thing in this world. I have given him that. I never complained or have been grumpy about any of the material things he couldn’t provide for me. This world is unfair. :'(

I was preparing for civil services. Thats when i wanted to take a break from him. The later months turned out to be devastating (my depression and all) and quit it because i couldnt focus and wanted to take care of myself. I stated preparing for another job (equally reputed) and cleared and yet to get my  final results. This was the time he was with someone else but i didnt know that. I made him also write this and helped him clear it. Few months later the truth comes later. I didnt understand why all this was happening. Im focussing on my career. Im working in a reputed place now. He too is(not the same company)

My parents came to know about our relationship 2 months back. they dont approve of it because we are brahmins and my dad doesnt like tamil and non veg ppl. he’s a combo of that. so my dream of working hard to clear civil services and then open about this to my parents is gone. And my relationship also has suffered severely. Im in total mess right now. But i wont let it affect my career. So one thing is clear. Either it’s an arranged marriage according to my parents’ wish or this guy i love. I cant go out in search of love again. My parents speak low and cheap of being in a relationship in 20s. If i talk about another guy in future they’ll only think i long for a man(take it in a cheap sense).

I have to go against my parents for HIM. But what did he do. That breaks me down. Im trying hard to not think all this now. But it’s hard not to. My dad’s a very hard working man. my family has a very good name in the society because of him, and his daughters’ achievements. I do want to live a life of my choice but theres a dilemma here. I feel living by myself would be much peaceful.

He told me he had certain moments of intimacy and I confronted him for it all these months . “How could you go with someone else and sleep with someone else so soon” but he never said he hadn’t slept with her until yday

Yes Anita. But I hadn’t decided on leaving him for good.

But this is what happened last evening.

As I said Im taking some time off so we aren’t talking to each other amd he’s waiting for me to heal. Last evening i got a msg “I hope this doesn’t put our future in jeopardy” and I replied “it did the moment you went with someone else. And didn’t want us to be back”

Guess what he said that he also “has enough reasons” to not trust me, I didn’t suffer at all, he was only one who suffered. 

Yes I did a mistake. I hurt by wanted to take a break but it was for the good of both of us. And I made up for it . I never hurt him even once after. But he says I dont get to decide if I made up for it or not. I really don’t understand because I never treated him poorly and described him with low regard. But yet I’m not the one who suffered.

Anita he did struggle when we were on a break but i would myself call him up and to make sure I was there for him. But before the break i took and after i asked him about getting back, he had problems because of me. He was stuck in his new unstable and rotting relationship.