The most important i have learned in my life i would pass on is to be yourself. I have found that this is the fundamental that makes us, us. if we are not ourselves who are we? You need not worry about problems and the bad things but live for the small things and in those small short experiences be yourself and do what you want not because someone told you not or society told you not. Be your own judge and you will never be wrong.

I was in the same situation for a while too. I became amazing friends with this girl and we were amazing friends and would also talk about anything. I knew i had liked for almost the whole time i knew her. I tried many times to convince myself to say something just a simple “i have feeling for you” But for months i did nothing. One day i just wanted it so bad and i had to tell her something. I told her i had feeling for her. By then i had fallen in love. She said she didnt want any relationships. Then i realized it is not worth thinking about it if she doesnt want me back. I kinda got angry and emotional and stuff but i knew i had to move on. It was one of the hardest things i have done relationship wise in my life. I told her GoodBye. I removed her from my life as much as i could. I will never forget her but saying something was the best decision i could have made. I even remember her birthday is tomorrow. Really there is only two options. Say something or do nothing and live in fear. I hope you can convince yourself to say something and i hope it doesnt end up as bad as mine did. But after i had the balls to say that it quite literally changed my life mindset and has me the happiest and best person i can be. Oh and make sure you talk do not text her. Tell yourself over and over until you do it. Trust me you need to say something and say it soon or it will torture you. Tell me how it goes.

I think you should go to some nice warm country or where you picture yourself being and living. Leaving home is hard and the comforts will never quite compare to anything else you can find, but with a direction and a purpose life has meaning and you can be happy. I have found that solitude is ok sometimes but living a life alone and just doing things because they seem right is not the way to go. Try to talk with a close friend or family on the matter that you feel comfortable talking to. Although this is helpful, you will probably get better advice from someone who knows you better and can help you make a decision.