Hello Beni,

I can relate to that very well. I am very introverted and sinsitive which is a cocktail for alienation. I tend to isolate myself, too. I am quite sensitive and I absorb people’s energies, moods. But I have never noticed what you mentioned about the eyes. I personally have the biggest problem with specific people who are loud, overextroverted, drama-creating but also aggressive people. Their energy always overwhelm me… I used to have social phobia. EFT and today Buddhism (meditation, mindfulness, moral codes) helps me a lot.

I have feelings of not fitting in from time to time. But it is quite difficult because at the same time I am satisfied this way. I am a lone wolf. I am used to fight alone and it always worked the best for me.

I am the happiest person just alone. I love nature and animals. From time to time I stil experience uncomfortable feelings when I have to socialize with unknown people or meet complicated personalities. I am working on it and doing much better than a month ago… But I think that deep in my heart I am still looking for reconciliation with these people… that’s probably what my heart needs and I don’t know how to solve it yet. Because it is not that I don’t like people… I need to achieve peace with specific types of people. And I’m trying to do it through my self-acceptance. … I still need a lot of understanding.

“Also suppressing abandonment will wake up self harm.” – Can you explain this, if you want to and you don’t mind writing about it?

Hello Beni again,

Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s very interesting for me because I have never noticed this in people’s eyes.

I am sure that other members of tinybuddha will help you more when they get online. They may have more experiences with this than me.

I also find your meditation technigue useful. Do you do any other calming activities? What work do you do?

Hello,

Can you share specific quotes by the wise people? I believe their meaning is the same as yours – we are responsible for what we can control.

I sometimes wonder if these situations in our lives – cancer, children with illness, disabilities, etc. – is a result of Karma from previous lives? I don’t know what some conservative Buddhists would say. Personally, I wouldn’t say so… because this attitude can be too harsh and hard on people.

I had social phobia and when I was teenager I was thinking that it was a “punishment” because in my previous life I had to be either very bad person or tortured publicly… And I can tell you that this thinking didn’t help me at all.

But even when we get cancer or our children are ill, we can take some action. We can fight for a better life and enjoy it. It is much more challenging but I think it is in our power.

Hello!

Have you ever tried to ask your friend in privacy what is the issue? From what you wrote here, she seems to be a very hurt person. She craves attention, love. She might have gone through a difficult childhood, relationships, …?

What makes you miss her when you are not in touch?

Hello Anita,

thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts. I hope that this sharing is helpful for you. I’ll come later when I have more time to think about what you shared. (I have difficulties reading long texts on the screen – I lose concentration and then I don’t get the point of the message correctly… And then I reply incorrectly and can cause more harm than good… it is not really the text… but the screen and light which distracts me.)

If you feel you would like to, you can add anything in the meantime.

I wish you a great and peaceful Sunday!

Hello Anita,

You are brave to face her. You did a right thing – you protected yourself. And in the end you left her, which was a good decision. However, I can feel (and this is only my subjective feeling from the text) that you cannot leave her in your thoughts, let her go away from your life for good. Is it true?

Maybe you would like to explain it to me? Because with my lone wolf personality and tendencies to run away from bad people I would completely reject her and wouldn’t give her a space in my mind or heart. But I feel that she really hurt you so bad that it is very difficult to let her go. (?)

When you faced her, how did you feel? Was it liberating? Did you ever tell her how you feel/felt about her?

You don’t have to answer, if you don’t want to. I know this is a painful topic. And I respect it. I just don’t want you to let her hurt you again and again in your thoughts. She doesn’t deserve your attention, love or your life at all.

Yes, sure. Explain why you are sad and upset. We’ll get a bigger picture of your problem.

Hello Elias,

you do not mention this, so I ask. Have you practiced doing music, too? Have you tried to get a rap teacher or learn some (new) rap techniques etc.? What exactly would you like to change?  Then focus on that. Imagine that the Beatles practiced 8 hours 7 nights a week before they got really famous. The more you practice, the better you get.