Thank you for everything! I hope we will all reach the desired peace and self-compassion. .. and the enlightenment in the end. One day, one lifetime. 🌸 I will leave the forums because I do not feel safe here anymore. Remember that this is only my problem (my feeling = my problem) Stay true to yourself.

I will let this thread open for anyone. I will not check it again, though.

Sometimes the life path gets us somewhere but at some point the change of direction is necessary to move on and grow.

THANK YOU for understanding and help. 🙏 I am sending a lot of ❤ and ☀️

Bye, bye!
Jana from Czechia

I am still working on my self-compassion and in the process – during a meditation – I realized how many nice feelings I have for my parents.

Maybe I have reached an important step on my way to self-compassion. I allowed myself to let the bad memories go. I reached a point where I realized I no longer needed these memories. (and ask Lori to delete my journal where all bad memories were…) I felt a great relief. And I smiled. And the happy memories are more bright now.

In the future, I would like to try to help them to be more compassionate, even though I know it’s their decision. But if I express my feelings to them more, like I love them, maybe it will help my parents to heal at least a bit, too.

That is okay. ☀️ I only wish this thread was more about honest feelings and real experiences and less about analyzing, explaining and fixing.

I am looking forward to reading more about your experience, feelings and emotions. But please retreat from trying to fix or analyze someone. Our lives, our experiences, our truth and our ways to self-compassion are different.

The same, but different.

No explaining of concepts etc. is necessary here in this thread. We are human beings and not subjects of analysis. Let’s be more open to emotions without judging and explaining how others should or shouldn’t feel. ❤️

This is a rule of this thread for the future. 😊

Hello Anita,

I do find myself as the one who has a different opinion, but I don’t have the urge to say it whatever it costs… without thinking about the consequences. The fact is that I am so slow that it might not be even possible to be aggressive. I mean it seems to me that confrontational people are quite hot-tempered, fire-like personalities… exact opposites of me. And that’s also why they hate me.

I agree that it can be a result of frustration or stress, too. But I was always submissive, maybe you remember… and in very unhealthy way… a submissive escapist, avoiding a conflict… rather completely isolated than confrontational. It is not good, either. I know. That’s why I’m on my way to self-compassion and hope to find healthy assertiveness.

I know people who are dominant but with the need to be protective. I feel better with them. But they can be unhealthy in relationships too when they become too controlling.

Hello ☀️

I haven’t seen Pirates of the Carribean. What kind of connection did you see in the movie?

Exactly. I choose to work with my nature, not against it. I used to have this mindset that others knew me better. They could see me from the outside and I thought that this outside view is more objective. I don’t know why I believed it. I guess it was the result of the harsh criticism I received everywhere in my social bubble and culture.

The thought on vulnerability is great. I agree. It takes courage to be vulnerable because we expose ourselves to the threat of being hurt. I connect tenderness with vulnerability a lot. These two are interconnected. Maybe that’s why I see tenderness as “weakness” because when I am tender and thus vulnerable, bad people have an opportunity to use me as a target of their frustration.

This is something I am still working on. I cannot defend myself without the feeling of guilt. I feel guilty to protect myself because I could hurt someone by being unskillful and I don’t want to do that. I am learning to protect myself skilfully… it is also a part of compassion and self-compassion.

I am very happy that your self-esteem and self-compassion have improved significantly, and criticism no longer devastates you, Anita. Would you like to share more about that experience?

I believe I have had these so called clicks, too. For example, I remember the moment when I realized that I would be in troubles if I didn’t stop using alcohol as my remedy.