Jamie Lee, it must feel very difficult at the moment, but there are places to turn to and things you can do to help yourself. If you do not feel comfortable contacting friends or family for whatever reason, you can contact a relevant charity and explain your situation. They will be able to offer you advice on what to do or where to go next. I imagine that it’s easy to feel hopeless and have little energy to act, in a situation like this, but this would only cause you and those who love you more suffering. I suggest you find out as much information as you can; with knowledge, you will find more options and be able to choose your actions in an informed way. I wish you luck.