Mega Man

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    Mega Man

    Hey Christopher.m,

    Great to hear from you again! I recently took a 4-day vacation out of town and it sorta helped me heal.

    The pain/humiliation still lingers as I walked through the door of my office this morning especially since I just found out that we’ll be working together for a project. As direct partners.

    I probably have the strength to take on what other people say now, but I just hope that the quality of work does not overlap with my issues with her. I am getting anxious since my boss is somewhat aware of our past but only to a shallow level.

    Still, I really pray that this would stop completely and I know it wouldn’t.

    Mindfulness is certainly key to ease panic attacks and anxieties during my breaks…but her presence is just a thorn in my everyday life. Hoping to stick through the year as well that I will be working with her since I lost the urge to apply for companies (they find out I have a bond, and it’s a big NO to them)

    Please pray for my hurdles I experience in the office as I tend to fall into depression again. But I do still listen to everyone’s advice here and it has helped ease my depressive thoughts by 60-70% per work day.

    With love to the community,


    Mega Man

    Hi Inky,

    Noticed that you’re one of the active contributors to this forum and I really admire you for that.

    About that, I most likely wouldn’t do that since it would be obvious that it came from me and I don’t wanna put more barriers/gaps between me and my officemates.

    I’m finding it hard to work since I felt like I was thrown away and all, but I keep on reading and keeping in touch with my spiritual self. These tangible things around me (their pictures on Facebook, the small gifts the guy gives her that she shares with everyone except me, her presence, etc.) and the intangible things (the approval of everyone with regard to their relationship, how I heard that I was not a better option than my friend according to her friends, etc.).

    I don’t know if these emotions/what I’m feeling right now are a sign of a lack of manliness and it’s starting to piss me off…but I do and honestly want to get better each day.

    Thanks again Inky!

    Mega Man

    It’s been a week since I last wrote a reply here, and I’ve been exercising everyday. My mood has been better but it seems like there’s something new every week that I have yet to fathom.

    I might sound like I’m bickering right now, but as it turns out I’ve been the talk of the office lately since my coworker and my friend are going strong as a couple and they’ve been teasing me.

    It feels uncomfortable, especially since she’s wearing the jacket of my friend now right in front of my face.

    I will be going to the gym still later, but how do you guys adapt to people like these?

    I sure wish I get to transfer companies soon.

    Mega Man

    Thanks, Christopher.m.

    In relation to yoga, I don’t think I’ve found the right teacher except for the previous one I had (who isn’t a yoga expert but knows how to handle and facilitate learning well).

    I hit the gym thrice a week and it truly does get my mind off things except for the fact that I’m one of the chubbiest/weakest in the gym. (well, I did lose 10 lbs though)

    Probably speed dating is a good idea but I hope we have such a thing in our country. Seems fun. I’ll let you guys know if there are.

    Overall, it’s still a challenge but I’m okay. NUMBER 2 WAS FUNNY THOUGH (NO BITTERNESS INTENDED) HAHAHA! I still find my ex-girlfriend the prettiest I have to admit.

    I will never date a co-worker again, even if she tries to flirt around with me.


    Mega Man

    Just an update:

    Hi everyone,

    I’m pretty much doing okay…except that whenever I’m in the office, I couldn’t help but remember the old times we shared. I’m literally diagonal from her now and her voice is all over the place.

    What do you guys do when you want to move on from someone you know deep inside you don’t deserve?


    • This reply was modified 8 years, 11 months ago by Mega Man.
    Mega Man

    Hi Will,

    That was some thorough and realistic advice you got for me back there and I am truly grateful.

    I’d like to keep in mind the best things about the advice you gave me such as:

    – don’t go for the intimacy part if you aren’t together yet with a label
    – breaking the myth of her not having loved me back

    But I do think that we started out right as close friends for months before we realized we had something going on. It just so happened that during a movie, she kissed me on the cheek and I accidentally kissed the side of her lip until such time that we both thoughr of the same thing.

    I didn’t intend for it to happen that way and I was telling her that I wanted to have introduced myself to her parents before anything else…bur being the typical Asian family they are (her parents are 65 yrs of age), it was too much of a long shot for me to have shown myself to them.

    I wanna learn so much from this since I really enjoy romance with the right person, but she taught me how to be happy with myself more and I guess that’s a good thing. A really good one in fact.

    However, I still think she did trek on the wrongest of the wrong when she decided to pull off another move with my close friend and now I have set up fences around me to protect myself from being humiliated.

    She’s a wonderful person and she could attract a lot of guys because of her personality, but after I got to know more about her it seemed as if she liked the fact that she was surrounded by guys and I just happened to be one she thought would rise above them at some point in time.

    I can’t look back now but being friends with her is definitely a “no” now, and I had a call from my coworker that she’s starting to lose interest in my friend too. I guess life happens everyday.

    Wishing you the best, Will. And thank you for acknowledging my depression.

    Mega Man

    Hi Christopher.m,

    Lately I’ve been going to the gym, reconnecting with old friends, hanging out with my usual friends, drinking, playing guitar, going to clubs that aren’t really my thing…basically I’ve been doing my best to kill time and forget about her.

    I haven’t learned how to let go but I’ve been reading articles from tinybuddha and they help little by little.

    I sure wish I didn’t have to see her everyday, man. It sucks. It’s like it’s a step forward and a step backward everyday.

    I’m currently applying for this one job so that I can pursue my career growth. It’s not her being the reason of me switching companies, but I think the reason why we developed towards dating was because we were benched for so long (11 months).

    2015 isn’t a good year for me. It’s probably the worst, but it did do me a lot for realizing my worth.

    I honestly still love my ex, but external factors caused me to break up with her. She’s 27 and I’m 21. Financially, we’re not capable. And she doesn’t want kids at all…

    Anyway, thanks again…

    Mega Man

    Hi Inky,

    It seems that my other reply was gone and now I have to start from scratch.

    Anyway, thank you very much for the reply. I really appreciate it. I recently talked to her during our company beach outing 1 on 1 since I couldn’t stand the fact that the closure she gave me was still vague and that it was virtual (via Skype).

    I cried so much that time in front of her and I feel like all the balls are on her court. But I told her to pray for me that I wouldn’t plant any seeds of anger towards her and my friend (even if my friend didn’t do anything wrong too).

    I cried because I lost so much on my end…especially a big chunk of self-esteem. Currently, the circle where my friend and I belong to has been organizing a reunion and all I could do is ignore since I don’t wanna be put in the hot spot (out of embarrassment and all that). In the office, I have to deal with her being surrounded with the friends we share and her talking to them as if I was non-existent. It’s lonesome.

    Regarding my friend and her dating, I don’t wanna meddle in their affair but I know that it will pinch a bit if ever they decide to be together as a couple.

    I have accepted the fact that we’re never gonna be a couple, but damn I wish I was someplace else.

    – hopelesslycharmed

    Mega Man

    Testing something about the replies here. I posted two but I can’t seem to find them displayed here.

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