Hello,

This is first time I am expressing myself on the platform where no one knows me. I actually don’t feel like to share this with anyone I know since I feel ashamed about it.

So I will just start with what I am suffering now. 2.5 years back, I joined one organisation and fell in love with one guy(basically my colleague). I started feeling so attracted towards him. But when he came to know that I am into him, he started controlling me. Means I was not allowed to talk to any guys, not allowed to wear what I want, not allowed to go out with anyone else, not allowed to put makeup and not even allowed to keep my hairs open. But since I was in love I did all possible things.

After sometime he stopped my all media. and then for more than2  years, I didn’t used my any media like WhatsApp, fb etc. I stopped talking to my friends as well. And there was one guy in my office whom I referred as a “Cool guy” and from that moment he made me stop talking to that guy. One day he started abusing me taking that guy’s name and slapped me for the very first time after 6 months relationship. And twisted all the fingers and hurted me so much. next day I wasn’t even able to comb my hair. and then he apologised. and since I was in love, I just forgive me. but from that day, he literally used to slap me for eveyr single reason, then he started beating me on roads, started using abusive words for me and my mother and my entire family. But I still tried to understand him and always handled him.

But he never really valued my presence or emotions. but I loved him like anything and I still do. but now he just got engaged to someone without even telling me. and I am just totally broken and I don’t understand what to do. I want to forget him since all he has done is just given me pain. but I cant move on and I am stuck there. When I came to know, I literally thought of suicide but I couldn’t do since I have my family to look after and I don’t wanna disappoint them for such a guy. my mind knows that I don’t deserve tears because of this guy but my stupid heart is not accepting the fact and I cry like baby every single night juts looking at our old pictures since we have also spent some great time together. I need to move on from this situation and I am trying every possible thing. but I cant.