Anita, the Zoloft made me feel traumatized about my depression that I obsess having depression now. Same as it was with my anxiety before. Just how my mind works. I got over my anxiety though and never really interrupted with my life so I’m sure I can do this with my depression now. At this point, I am really just confused if I am depressed or having episodes of OCD but like I mentioned, I wake up in the morning, cook for my family, exercise, eat healthy and do my work without difficulty which I was never able to do when I had that severe depression and was on antidepressants. I hope my therapist could help me diagnose myself so I can understand it. I’m sure someone, somewhere is experiencing the same confusion I am experiencing right now.

You are totally right with the different tools. It seems in different days when it doesn’t work, I used a different method and that works. I am now understanding that. Thank you for confirming it.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 11 months ago by Loy.

Thank you for that. Been trying to find put about CBT. Can you explain how that works? I am seeing a therapist and have yet to know how that treatment works. Right now, I am doing self help and it works. I believe I have mile/moderate depression now. I used to have severe depression when I first had it for 2 weeks.

When I mentioned being myself again is to be without the depression 3 months ago but without being materialistic. I want to not fear depression and understand it completely so I cna move on and be the better version of myself.

Hi Anita, my ruminating negative thoughts are mostly the fear of having to feel that I am depressed when I’m happy. Funny part is sometimes it wins. There are times I can control it. Yesterday was a great day, I was able to stop it on command. Today, I think its hit or miss. Just afraid that it’s something that I have to deal with for the rest of my life or will I be able to overcome them and find the trigger so I can stop it from ruminating. When I feel fine, I do not have the feeling of guilt or anything else. I like that feeling and wish I could stay that way. I was really great and doing well and had very minor setbacks. For some odd reason, I am having more setbacks than usual but still manageable, I think. I just try to see the good in the bad and hopefully I can recover fully and get my life back. I’m in a better place but I miss my old self. I guess that too is ruminating in my head besides the fact that I hope I don’t give in, give up and just let my depression worsen. I see a lot hope as I was different than I was 3 months ago. The ruminating thoughts are just new to me now. It’s like something new is happening everytime and finding ways for me not to overcome it.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 11 months ago by Loy.