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July 6, 2016 at 9:20 am in reply to: Senior in college and I can't stop making giant mistakes. How to cope better? #108966Robert MParticipant
That’s sort of a tricky question to be honest. I’d just like to clear up that in no way was it physical/verbal abuse or anything particularly close to it, and they aren’t particularly negative people at all, it’s just a tendency of theirs to constantly want to correct little things about my behavior in any way that parents as loving as they have always been should but so often and so bluntly that it comes off as slightly insulting when I’m trying to have an unrelated conversation. Related to the massive things that I’ve messed up recently like having to drop out of the one class I was trying to take over the summer, they’ve been really understanding that sometimes one can be so disorganized that it’s hard to manage trying to pull one’s life together and tackle a really hard class at the same time, so those aren’t really so much a concern with them as they are with me having trouble not ruminating on them. My parents haven’t really explicitly been treating me like I’m ‘goofy’, but that’s really just been more of a general consensus of most of the things I’ve been involved with like when I was on the rowing team last year (being the slowest rower that didn’t eventually quit and ultimately not making the team the following year despite being ridiculously close), and a ton of recurring jokes and nicknames about me from the summer camp that I’ve worked at for the last several years. I know this is something about myself that I should just try to embrace and enjoy who I am, but for some reason I just can’t stop being negative about the fact that this has been a recurring theme throughout most of the numerous things I’ve been involved with in my life. My parents have always told me that I’m the best and very capable, and that I put myself under too much pressure actually. It’s just most other people that communicate the other things.
May 31, 2016 at 1:00 pm in reply to: College senior. Did I miss the boat on finding a group of real friends? #106099Robert MParticipantWell….. It pretty much just comes down to the fact that I guess I’ve really been re-evaluating my life and who I associate with lately. I know I’ve got other friends that would be hyped to have me come visit for the evening and see that as a reason to want to get out and have a great night, not sit on our asses and watch basketball on the couch like any other night. It’s just that my parents have recently done a lot for this guy since his family is close to broke, and I’d considered him the best friend a guy could have for the last four years, but he’s just sort of showing me that he’s not really worth the time and this weekend just set me off since I otherwise would have been hard at work getting ready to not fail this exam that I just had. In hindsight I guess I sort of overreacted, but it just kills when the one friend that you’ve been in contact with consistently all 4 years of college just doesn’t seem to be there anymore.
- This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Robert M.
May 31, 2016 at 10:26 am in reply to: College senior. Did I miss the boat on finding a group of real friends? #106077Robert MParticipantI’m in Ann Arbor, MI so there’s quite a bit of pressure from multiple directions when it comes to the social scene sometimes, but you’re definitely right. I’m just very thrown off right now, because this was a person I’d called my best friend for years and looked forward to doing a lot together this summer and basically being bros for life, and when I now can’t deny that we’re drifting in different directions it stresses me out that my one friend that I had thought I could always count on no matter what isn’t necessarily that way. I think I have a way of using the feeling of being stressed out by this as an excuse to not study as hard as I know I should, and that resulted in me just failing a midterm for a class that I’m now dropping. I apologize for my confusing communications, it’s just that little mistakes I’ve made everywhere I go, academically and socially, just constantly seem to be stressing me out lately and when I talk about them without being calm then I can see how they’d come out as an incomprehensible splatter. I’d never thought of trying tai chi before and from the way it’s been described above it seems like it could definitely help me. Thank you all so much for the advice, it’s good to know that there are people out there that care and have relevant things to say.
May 29, 2016 at 4:52 pm in reply to: College senior. Did I miss the boat on finding a group of real friends? #105938Robert MParticipantYes you definitely are, that’s something I’ve been trying to do with my summer but it definitely hasn’t been coming easily or been particularly successful thus far. I’m probably mentally pushing myself to want to accomplish too much though, but that’s always been so confusing to me because where do I draw the line? Not have straight A’s as even a far-out goal that I’d even like to consider given that I struggle to not get any C’s so far? It’s been such a mentally hard line for me to draw, meanwhile I find myself pondering this stuff too much rather than pushing myself to work through it. Thanks for the response though!
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