Dear Kat,

I can feel you, I am also from an Asian family. This culture of family-bonding/togetherness allows parents to take control of their children’s lives, it doesn’t matter the children are over 20 or 30 years old. I had the same experience growing up- just like you. My parents would be very angry when I just went out with my friends, or go to the movie. (I don’t know what’s wrong with going to the movie).

Long story short, it was painful, until I got accepted into a good University, and I had to move to another city. There was no choice, because my hometown is a small town, and there is no good university in town. My family is poor, and despite their treatment for me, they agreed to send me to the university (I have to younger brothers, which it would become my responsibility to pay for their education once I finished college).

That time, it was literally the best day of my life, when I left home. Nobody angry with me on daily basis anymore. I was struggling with money and had to find a part-time job here and there, but at least I’m not at home. I can think for myself, I can make my own decision. I made friends, found hobbies, joining extracurricular, whatever I would like to do. And I am still doing well with my study, not doing drugs or anything bad. I have my life.

I am still having issues with my parents until today, I think it’s the assignment of my life. (we cannot change family aren’t we?) I know if you have been living at home your whole life, it would be scary to move out, because you will be on your own. So my first advice, take courage, move out of your home.

Best,

Ivy