Thanks for the advice Inky.

I wouldn’t say she carried me over the years because back then I was more fulfilled.

But having moved out recently and this time around, I have looked to her to help carry me as I haven’t had anything else going on in my life. I’ve been left disappointed and saddened on many occasions, this sort of partner not being helpful for someone who’s becoming more and more a ‘free spirit.’

We sort of agreed that I need to seek hobbies in my life. Although I feel this could be beneficial for a relationship in the long run, it also seems contradictory and like it’ll just drive us further and further away. Not seeing each other enough, no intimacy etc.

Her reason was that she wanted to be on her own. There was a lot of stress from planning the wedding. She would not do certain things over the years for fear of hurting me. She was a people pleaser. I was quite controlling and judging. There were underlying issues but issues that were just never brought up until a couple months before the wedding.

I have changed tremendously but the dynamics have changed dramatically.