I am a VERY INTP guy, and my last relationship was with an INFJ woman.  I know you are not going to want to hear this, but you need to move on from your boyfriend.  It will save you a lot of wasted time and pain in the long run.  What you need, he cannot give. That will not change.

Sort of related…while googling INTP, I stumbled upon a website for “incels” or involuntary celibates. It is full of very hopeless, bitter, angry INTP types (and some others) that think they have it all figured out and have given up on ever finding a woman. Most of them are too far gone, I think, but my point is that there are a lot of guys out there who are unable to figure out the man/woman thing, and you might consider reaching out to them, if you are attracted to INTPs.

However, you should not expect displays of feelings and touchy-feely stuff from INTPs. Even trying to be clever and test their feelings is a mistake. The best strategy, imo, is to be content doing your own thing, and let them join or suggest things if they are interested. Anything done to “get a rise” out of an INTP, to test their emotional commitment, will feel like nails on a chalkboard to them, and make them want to get away. No matter how subtle you are trying to be, it’s obvious and annoying to them. It’s a very unfair, one-sided situation. INTP don’t readily demonstrate “love”, but the more you try to get them to show it, the less they want to feel it. Their idea of showing love is “I’m still with you, aren’t I?”. Take it or leave it.

Work on loving yourself. Hope this helps!