Hi Caitlyn

I agree with the above comments, other people’s behavior is beyond our control. However we do have the power to try and understand other people’s behavior – I often find that trying to understand why people act the way they do leads to greater compassion towards them.

Why does your boyfriend not want to talk about his past, or his current problems? Could it be that he is ashamed? Could it be that he worries that if you were to know these facts, you might not want to be with him any more?

Also, men in our society are often ‘taught’ to hide their feelings and emotions (I recommend that you watch this video (http://www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men.html). Does you boyfriend behave how he does because he thinks that that is what men should do?

I have a growing appreciation for mindfulness. I think rather than trying to remove your negative thoughts, try to recognize them when they happen, and ask yourself why they are happening. Let these thoughts guide you to an understanding of your underlying concerns about the relationship.

Warm wishes

Jemima