My mother has little empathy.   I have an over abundance.    That’s part of it I think

Yes I do feel that way.    Now that I’m a mother I don’t understand it.     But especially I don’t understand manipulation.

Anita.  He would tell me in those words, “slow down…” whenever I brought up a lie.   And he would pause… I would pause and not even be talking … as time went on I realized he Always said that when he was trying to create more time to explain, rather lie more about why he was lying.   Mark… no we are definitely apart.  No contact at all.   What I am learning about myself is duh….. I have very if any boundaries for myself.  Red flags from the Start that I didn’t pay attention to.   I’m a people pleaser.   Always have been.  Emotionally unavailable mother and then went on to marry a narcissist and Then find myself in this sick situation.   And I admit.   This was the most confusing of all. Words and actions did Not match up and I ignored that.  And I made the mistake of Not trusting my gut.   My gut was alarming me the entire time and I didn’t listen.  I have been reading a lot and diving into what I am doing wrong and it’s all about my boundaries.    Also.    The biggest thing for me and I can be told 100 x’s that he is a sick person or manipulative and all of it…. I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that people operate or think this way.  That’s why I reach out for advice on it because to me it just doesn’t make sense.   And I so appreciate your words of wisdom.   They are lifelines for me.   Each day no contact I feel healthier but man…… that was something else.