Forum Replies Created
July 28, 2021 at 6:15 pm #383615
Thankyou for the reply. It’s amazing I feel like I’ve learned some much more from you than I have from counseling in three months haha. I know your not a professional but I do feel like what you are saying is very accurate. I think health care professionals are very slow to make claims because they don’t want to get anything wrong but it makes the whole process much longer. Also the person I’m seeing is only a counsellor so they can’t really make any medical claims or diagnosis. I do accept the idea that I may be lonely. Even though it’s not a link I would’ve made between less interactions and depression, it definitely makes sense. The question is how to overcome this. I feel like I have done plenty of journaling over the years and unloading my feeling. I don’t feel like I have anything left to unlock. So I guess I don’t completely know how to reverse this pattern of slumping besides just having a good healthy lifestyle, like socialising, healthy eating, exercise , having goals etc. I don’t know maybe it’s just a matter of time for my body to heal. I have looked up on the internet so much about attachment styles and the effect of uninvolved parenting etc. But I can never find anything on how to fix it. Ok, so maybe I was a bit lonely when I was little. So how do I reverse that now? That’s what I want to know, is it different for everyone or is there some techniques people use specifically to reverse this potentially unhealthy attachments. Anyways those r my thought .July 26, 2021 at 7:59 pm #383495
I’m good. I’ve been in counselling for a couple months now. I don’t feel like I’ve been in counselling long enough for it to have made a huge difference but i think it will go in that direction soon enough. It’s nice to have someone who listens to you and actually believe that you are trying hard. That don’t think failing subjects etc is a result of being lazy and believe you when you say you can’t control these mood slumps. I cut my study and work load by half and have allocated myself 2 full days to rest so i’m hoping this new routine will reduce the chance i will slump. I have also set some programs in place for me and made contact with some study help programs so that when i slump i will have someone to go to to help with my studies.
My study term has just started again after weeks of no study (because i avoided everything and had to drop out). So i’m hoping i have put enough support networks in place this time that when i slump i can go to those and hopefully come out of the term without failing my studies.
My Doctor and Counsellor recommended i see a psychiatrist so i have an appointment booked for the end of august so i will just see what they say. I’m not interested in medication but maybe they will provide a bit more clarity on what slumping regularly means.
I think overall im going in a better directions. The last big slump which was around the time i first posted on tiny buddha i remember being able to reason with myself even in the hardest moments. I eventually was able to acknowledge that those thoughts and feelings i was having were symptoms of depression, they were not my thoughts. Depression feels very personal because it affects your thoughts. Thoughts always feel like they must be true, it’s your inner voice and we are taught to trust that inner voice. Now i understand that i can’t trust all those thoughts and feeling that come into my head. I don’t need to always engage in them. So i think in comparison to 5 years ago i am in a much better place. I think i just have to keep moving forwards and recognise the little improvements i make. My goal is no longer to be happy anymore, my goal is just to improve. Who knows where i will end up with that!
Maybe you can tell that the tone of this message in more hopeful, well that is because i’m am not in a slump atm! But i know now that mood swings, however they present themselves can swing you from one state to an entire different mood in the next. Some people may experience emotions in a more linear way, some people’s emotions can swing drastically. For those people you may feel very extreme in one moment and completely different in the next. So next time i slump i might feel like completely giving up, i may feel completely different to the way i feel now. But i know that eventually i will return back to feeling normal again. In the meantime i’m just going to try to make my circumstances align as much as possible with what i need so that i have the best chance of succeeding. But honestly if i fail again, it will hurt but i can now see that trying hard to make your life better does work. Reaching out for support does help. doing all those little psychology activities and reflective exercises has payed off because i have definitely improved in the last five years.
so there you go, that’s a little bit about me.April 24, 2021 at 7:03 pm #378676
Dear Anita and TeaK
The mocking/made fun of definitely started before I was 12. I’ve never felt such positive connection with this family member so I believe even before the mocking started there was not much support and positivity coming from this connection.
My parents have always been nice. My dad a little bit disengaged though. They have always provided support but not always the right support for ‘me’. They are their own people, they have their own lives, jobs, my other siblings to take care of. So I’m not resentful for that at all.
But yes Teak as you mentioned I always felt more connected and closer with my friends. I felt like they understood me better. I remember feeling a little bit more emotionally interdependent from my parents and less family orientated than a lot of peers. for me family was always the people who treat your nicely and care and for me, and that was my friends.
when I was 12 I went overseas for a couple of weeks without my direct family. I went to visit some extended family. When I came back my friends didn’t ask alot about my trip. I was really disappointed but it also made me realise that unlike me their lives hadn’t changed for the space of a couple weeks. That when I left nothing much changed for them.
its sounds self centred but when your little you think the world revolves a bit around you, your not so aware of other people. I guess that experience made me realise that the world doesn’t revolve around me and it also made me feel like the people who were supposed to care (my friends) didn’t. A lot of people go through this realisation, its apart of growing up, realising how everyone around your is living their own life. Its how we also learn to have empathy for others. But I guess it made an impact on me none the less.
I definitely started to feel a bit more detached from everything after that moment.April 24, 2021 at 6:37 am #378621
thankyou, I had never heard of Recurrent brief depression before. I read some articles about it since you commented and do definitely relate to some of the symptoms listed. The next step would probably to go see someone about it. It’s so strange though, RBD doesn’t come up on many websites pages about depression. It seems not to be very common.
A couple things happened when I was 12 I guess. I became really disinterested/disengaged with school. I guess I experienced a couple ‘rejections’ so to speak but all in all, I had a good group of friends. I did get mocked/made fun of a lot by some family members. This increased during high school so it definitely contributed to my insecurities. I feel like that empty and grey feeling that immerged when i was 12 kind of popped out of nowhere. I was told that puberty can affect your hormones and your mood, but if so i don’t know why i’m still experiencing this feeling at 21.
Even though I got mocked at home, I feel like everything started to go downhill with the onset of this empty feeling when I was 12. It was kind of always there in the background and made it harder to grow resilient and bounce back from problems. So the more mistakes and failures I made the worst I felt. It was a bit of an avalanche effect. I slowly forgot what it felt like to be passionate or hopeful towards things.
I feel different today because i did a lot of reflecting and steering my life in a direction I’m happy with. 60 percent of the time its ok. Unfortunately the rest of the time is in these slow and emotionally draining slumps that happens somewhat regularly. it Really feels like out of my control. Often nothing much has set it off, or something very small.April 21, 2021 at 5:57 pm #378292
ahh yess, my mistake. I will do that shortly
thankyou also noname, because I related to your post and it inspired me to write my own post.
thankyouApril 21, 2021 at 6:13 am #378203
To Tiny Buddha fam
I’ve been following this page for a while.
I’m just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and could shed some light on how to improve the situation.
I’ve been feeling pretty shitty since I was 12. Nothing particularly happened I just lost interest in a lot things and became pretty insecure. It got worst in high school. when I was in grade 12 (I was 17). I decided to change for the better. I’m 21 now. so much has improved. I’ve reduced so many bad habits like stress eating, maladaptive daydreaming, paranoid thinking. I’ve implemented journaling when I’m stressed, dancing, regular exercise, balanced diet.
I have written thousands of pages unpacking my thoughts/emotions etc, letters to people etc. I’m genuinely so invested in trying to improve the quality of my life because I don’t see the point in being alive if you don’t at least try to enjoy it.
my work is in align with what I want to do. I do feel some sense of purpose and enjoyment with what I do. The difficulty level isn’t too much for me.
I have seen and felt improvements in my mood and behaviours. It is easier than it used to be.
Unfortunately about every month and a half I slump/crash. literally for 2-3 weeks. I become incapable. I can’t study, I can’t focus, I become a recluse, all the purpose and enjoyment gets sucked out of my life. Everything in my life feels like a distraction or a shitty coverup for this deep empty feeling I have.
It used to feel really physical. I was extremely fatigued, couldn’t get out of bed. It was hard to do the basic things. I implemented some healthy coping mechanism to help pull me out of the slumps. It does work, and over the years the slumps become less and less physically exhausting. They are mostly just emotionally draining. But it still interrupts my life, work, study.
I’ve tried to look online to find something to explain this but I can’t find anything. There are a lot of articles written about slumps but i couldn’t find anything about experiencing slumps extremely regularly.
Its still happens now every month or so and i just want to know what it is. I genuinely really want to address it but I just don’t know why it keep on happing all the time.
I am a girl and it does not coincide with me period. So its not hormonal I don’t think.
when I’m not in a slump i just feel mostly normal. Obviously normal for me still feel a bit grey and empty, especially when i don’t have ‘distractions’ around me but its still liveable, i still can look forward to things and have some aspirations.
I don’t know if I’m just impatient and it takes a while to overcome these feelings and improve your life. Its only been 3 years since I’ve been proactively trying to improve my life. Maybe that’s really not that long in the scheme of things.
but anyways if anyone know what it is pls share, i would love to hear your experiences