Resentments and anger have not always been easy for me. Learning to meditate helped tremendously. When I begin to feel angry, I have learned be still, think and just breathe. I write about all the reasons I feel the anger. I put ‘Resentment’ at the top of the page and then write the person’s first name or initials. I make three columns. The first column I list the reasons I am angry. The second I list all the parts I have played that is causing the turmoil within me. To find this answer I sometimes have to dig deep and really think about it but I always find it. The third column I list the ways in which I could have avoided this inner conflict. Then I take another sheet of paper and make a list of at least ten things I’m grateful for. I may find the need to discuss what I’ve written with someone I trust.

I have learned to use the power within myself to be bold and firm with courtesy, kindness and patience.

I have had to practice and I mean practice really hard. None of this came easy. I’ve had incredible teachers and mentors. With every experience in my life I have grown.

If I had been wise enough, as you are, to ask questions and seek help and understanding when I was in college my life could have much more peaceful at a much earlier age. Peace and serenity feel wonderful.

You mention you are engaged. My mother told me once “If a man is good to his mother he will be good to his wife”. I’ve been grateful for this advice. My husband was incredibly good to his mother and to me. I also think my mother-n-law may have feared the loss of her son when he fell in love with me. She never lost him but I also had to earn her respect and trust.

My wish for you is peace. Take care.