Hi Anita, thank you for the answer.
We were having normal argues sometimes, sometimes she started sometimes i did, but that week we were having an argue almost everyday and we were both tired of them, i came to the point where i was really tired and i spoke those words even if i never meant them.
What i wanna say is that i mentioned that episode because that is the day when she totally changed and became the person i told: She was ignoring me, lying to me, flirting with other guys, rejecting me (like when i asked to go to meet her for the weekend) and meeting with these flirty guys behind my back.
Obviously a lot of argues we had could have been avoided but what is done, is done.
I only want to understand other’s opinion about how she changed and became that type of person that i never thought she could be.
I mainly broke up with her for her lies, because she was ignoring me, because she was rejecting me and at some point she was almost cheating me, i think i broke up with her right before she was gonna do it. Even because few days after we broke up she was already going party with one of the guys she was flirting with.
I just can’t understand what is holding me back, what mistakes i have done, if it was my fault that she became like that or if that was only her insecurity that made her doing those things.
She was telling me often she feared that i was gonna leave her but how i could not leave her if she was doing almost anything to make me leave her? I tried my best to stop her and let her step back with me to work it out together but the day after everything was the same – maybe worse.
I tried for one month of sickness and rejections to stay with her and work it out but nothing worked. It was only getting worse at any try, when i left her, two days after she was already telling she was feeling better without me, but she was even telling that she was doing those ugly things to “Make me love her again” while i already did… She never gave me a real reason the last time i asked why she did it was two months ago and since then i never got an answer.
I think this is holding me back, i forgave her, i forgave myself but i still don’t know what i forgave.
Plus when she started doing those things she even became emotional controlling with me, making me feel guilty for anything, even the wrongs she was doing, or making me feeling guilty because i didn’t let her flirt with other guys.
I can much better see now the facts how were but i still don’t know how could that happen, two days before all that mess she told me i was her “soulmate”, i can’t understand how she fell out of love so quickly and became that person.