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    Hi Lotuslotus,

    I see a lot of me and my journey in your story. The life plan that was vaguely communicated to me was get good grades in school, go to a decent college, get a decent job. That’s what I did.

    Much of the past 20+ years of my life and career has been spent trying to figure out, “OK, now what?”

    I remember waking up about 3 weeks into my first full-time job after college and thinking that there was no way I could wake up and do what I was doing for the rest of my life. The thought itself was daunting and spirit-crushing. I was fortunately able to do some different things along the way to make it bearable, however it was only about 18 months ago that I was able to start really pulling myself out of a career that had made me mostly unhappy for a very long time.

    Just the realization and awareness that the path you’re on is making you unhappy is a good place to be starting from at your stage of the journey. I’d encourage you to stay open to the feelings and awareness that you’re able to recognize. Don’t do what I did, which was to try and ignore or numb them.

    It also sounds like you’re at a point in your journey where you have a good deal of flexibility and your responsibilities are manageable. This also works in your favor, as changing direction now is probably going to be easier than it will be 3, 5, 10+ years down the road.

    Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, especially if you’re feeling depressed. Help comes in different forms like therapists (wish I started seeing mine years earlier!), spiritual guides and career coaches. You don’t have to go it alone.

    Rest assured that you’re not the only one in this situation. Find a group of like minded people and connect into the group. Just realizing you’re not alone in what you’re experiencing is very powerful.

    I’d also recommend reading Choose Yourself, by James Altucher – http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17977529-choose-yourself

    I’ve found the book to be a great counter-balance to the outdated career path that many of us have been taught by default.

    I have a spare copy of the book I’d be happy to send you for free. Please drop me a line at http://justrollingwith.it/contact if you’d like me to send it to you.

    Best of luck to you!

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