AH okay you are right – no one else will tell me that thank you

I am grateful for this forum and for your words this is such a great thing …. yes it hurts but im am willing to live what i have learned … i am sad and i am lonely but i do have faith that things will work out thank you !

Kiola

I dont understand how people can come in and out of each others lives so easily – im still like why didnt he want to try and work it out he said i did things that i cant remember like call his mom – i threatened him – but not to justify I have heard people argue like this and move on or not take things so literal – I just dont get why he is taking everything i did so literal and not aknowledging the fact that I was completely out of sorts why did he let me drink so much and then take me to the bar why did he let me drive down a canyon mountain road beligerant i know it doesnt help but i feel like maybe he never even cared for me .

Thankyou – I am sad that it didnt work out as well im so scared that I was even capable of doing that it scares me still to think that I was that out of control – your right it probably isnt a good idea to even think about being with him again I dont even think it is an option in my messed up head I think that I like him enough to make it work and I want him to make it work I dont know why because in my head I know thats not possible but my heart wants it to its like i cant let it go or something because I made a mistake
Yes it was the same friend but – she is sort of flighty with her plans so i had always had it in the back of my mind but then that same day she text me to see if i was interested which made me want to entertain the idea with him knowing that she may possibly back out anyway but i wanted to run it by him to let him know how i was feeling – this was while i was sober – after i did that his face kind of changed and i think may have triggered the fight later on while intoxicated . yes my friend said I was welcome to stay as long as I needed .