I wont contact her. When we were talking for the last time I was honest to her. She knows I still like her, she know Im not okay and she knows she has part in it. lot of things that are bothering me i explained in my last post. Its like i know there are people who are way worse on it than me. But this just doesnt cut it. The feeling when you think no one is coming trough a bigger pain. I complain for being lonely, but I just expect people ot come to me. Its not how it works. To keep friends you have to work on it. I am a big procrstinator. I might be clever, but im lazy and I complain for being lazy but i dont do anything against it. Thats what I do best. Complain. Complain on others, complain on myself.  i feel selfish.

Dear Anita.

She wanted to wait. But our relationship wasn’t so good since breakup. Spending time together was amazing. But we both did not understand each other’s behavior and we just got angry at each other. Sometimes I didn’t speak to her sometime it was me. But being with her was just making me feel good. Because she knew me. We had conversations I wouldn’t ever have with by best friends. But on New year’s Eve. We both agreed that with this behavior our relationship is not possible and we called it a day. For good. But after that it happened what I explained in original post. We got close. Physically. Very close. After I wrote this post we went out. But It was awkward a numb. We again said No. It is basically done. Maybe if life wants it. Or of she’s the one life will find a way back to each other. And we agreed not to talk. I don’t think she would want to hear from me in the future

Hey Anita, sorry for my late response. No it did not. My father was more gentle and he is the one with which i can go on a wal or geocaching, but with my mother (I live with her) wasnt. she has very fragile personality, and when something doesnt go her way you would think she lost her mind. She screams, calls me an idiot and so on. In my childhood she has been solving everything with slaping me and grounding me. You got a bad grade? No friends for a week. But I must admit when I was buliied at school, she was the one who stood for me. She forced dumb and blind school principal to look into it. But school didnt care. Then she called Police department and “The organ for protecting kids etc.” and then things started to get better. But still I remember running away from her and screaming “dad!!” and when he came home I just ran to him and higged him so hard… Thats what I remember.

Hello Anita. I was diagnosed with depresion in fall of 2017. When The relationship was forming, it calmed down, I didnt need any meds and I was kinda fine. Recently i started visiting psychotherapist but the only thing we keep talking about is her. I just cant get over the fact that she doesnt want me anymore. and just wants to be friends and then things like today night happen. and i just dont know what to do. I dont want to be here anymore. Life and people around are just laughing everytime I stumble. Its like a reality show.