Well a few months down the track and I think I have come to a decision. This was largely brought about by my boss, perpetuating an attitude that has fed my dissatisfaction with my current employer. I feel pretty gutted, but at the same time I feel relieved. I want to be at home. I want to mother my children and I want the pace of my life to be a little bit slower.

Now comes the hard part. Tell everyone and actually resigning. I will have many trying to convince me that I can do this job. My employer is very focused on retaining women at the moment, which means as one of only 14 women in my branch of 250 people. I think they will push me hard and really lay on the guilt, you don’t end a 20 year career lightly and they know it.

So I need a plan. And I need to stick to it. But one thing I am certain off is that I cannot work with my current supervisor. This means my career manager needs to move me while I consider my options, but really it’s so I can have time to get my life in order and resign when it suits me and my family.

I’m scared of the future, as for the first time in many years I’m not certain what’s ahead. I’m emotional as well. I feel like my life has become so flat and bland and I’m hoping to discover who I am again and find some real joy.

I don’t know that leaving my job will give me all that, but I feel like it will be a start and at least I can go home every night.

Thanks for listening