Hi Anita, Peggy, Kevin and Inky,

You guys are killing me, but it is ok, this is why I came here, to get other people’s opinion. 🙂

“If he cares to have a woman in his life who says sorry when she is wrong, instead of blaming him; if he cares to have a calm and collected woman, instead of a drama-queen/frenzied woman, he will be pursuing you soon, wouldn’t he?”

I agree with you, yes. And this is what I hope he will realize and act upon… I’m not going to pursue him in any shape or form, I was even thinking about refusing him to pick me up tomorrow for the party, but I already agreed so…

“He may need time to heal but if closure has happened, then he can heal faster with you than without you.  If he needs to reconnect with himself before he enters a new relationship that’s a different matter. Don’t forget that you are being hurt through this as well and your own feelings need to be taken into account.  How many times would you be prepared to enter into the “on” stage following an “off” stage.  Beware the roller coaster ride!”

This is what I am thinking about all the time. If he just needs some time or he is just not that into me… I do feel he is genuine and not playing around intentionally. But for me things are a little bit more black or white. Either I want someone or don’t. He is a scorpio by the way…

“It looks to me as though you are trying to enter into some kind of a romantic entaglement with expectations … You are wanting things to happen and expecting results … that is not Love … that is your ego not wanting to be “lonely”.”

Dear Kevin! Oh I wish I could be that wise and mature to love so purely. And I mean it. But I’m not yet there.  Am I lonely? Nope. Am I attracted to him because I saw something rare and special in him? Yes. Am I willing to just be there for him no matter what? Well… maybe I could see myself as a friend, but not right now. I will need some time to let go… But I definitely hear you!

“Tell him that you in fact, won’t sleep with him, at least in this visit. That you really don’t want to catch a sexually transmitted disease, and won’t risk it. “

You are hilarious! But he is not expecting me to sleep with him, as I started the thread, I am now considered as a friend 🙂 And of course I’m without any benefits 😀

I do believe she wants to own him rather than love him. I don’t think it is real love when you string someone along for years, but never really choose to be with him. Or she just kept him as an illusion, an illusion of a life she could have had not being married…

I don’t think he is really still under … but I do feel he needs time to heal. And also to figure out what he wants in a relationship first place. Because I’m nothing like his ex. I admit if I’m wrong – he was very pleasantly surprised by that and told me he never met a woman who could say sorry without blaming him…Also I’m calm and collected, not needy and not at all a drama queen. And it makes me sad that he let us down so fast. I mean unless he was really not that attracted in the first place… but then he should have won the Oscar for his acting.