Thank you anita.
I should have included that I asked the other person out on a date the day before I actually broke up with my partner. I don’t think I would have broken up with my partner if the other person hadn’t agreed. I was being so selfish and reckless. I believe that it was a huge betrayal to my partner.
No, my partner would never do anything to give me negative emotions. Perhaps that’s why I feel so ashamed? That I would betray someone who only wanted the best for me. I am not in contact with my ex, I ended it abruptly. I told them that my heart wasn’t it in anymore. The hurt expression they had on their face will forever haunt me.
Here, I am unable to move on because part of me feels like I am getting my punishment. But I really don’t want to be a bad person forever. I wish to be someone who can follow their own values.
I don’t think I want them back. I just wish I had done things differently. They deserved better.