Hello Victoria,

I’m coming upon this thread already a month and a half after your last entry, so hopefully you’re finding your groove again. I thought I’d share my 2 cents, based on my own life experience. First of all, there is a larger context in which your anxiety/depression is happening, and it is important to understand that. My spiritual teacher always said “environment is stronger than will.”, meaning no matter how well you try to feel, for example, if you are surrounded by negativity, it will be a huge challenge to be positive. And these days there is no shortage of negativity going around! It takes a lot more discernment today to make sure you feed your mind material supportive of your emotional health, than it did a generation or two ago. Make a conscious effort to choose uplifting thoughts, words, news (yes, they are out there!) Teachers like Tolle, Adyashanti or Krishnamurthi have had a powerful effect on me, just reading or listening to their words.

Secondly,  you say “I want to strengthen my ability to observe my thoughts instead of reacting to them.” Kudos to you for having that desire. It will save you! 🙂 In my experience, this is something one cultivates daily. There is no shortcut. Joining a meditation group, or doing an online course would provide a wonderful support. Again, environment is stronger than will! it’s about choosing our tribe wisely. Already, you seem to have wonderful parents.

All the best xo

Sylvie Barthelemy