Dear Anita,

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I do not have a wife HAHAHA!

Wishing you peace, joy and love 🙂
Cheers,
Q

Hi Anita,

I would like to share something with you. I think the universe works in funny / strange ways. At some point, I was genuinely over and done and was clearly moving on from my ex. I did not think about her for a few days, I felt much lighter and my mind felt free. I won’t go into details but somehow, we coincidentally met each other and caught up, shared a meal together. And somehow we were back in contact for a while. I naively took this as a sign or fate if you will. We stayed in contact and I tried to make plans with her but I can tell she’s not really interested. I’m pretty sure she likes the attention i’m gave her and she’s pretty hot/cold. Anyway, I’ve tried to make plans but they get brushed aside and I’m starting to regret my actions and feel like i’m getting pranked by the universe for reopening the wound again. Everything was going OK then she suddenly stopped responding.

I feel like I did not learn from my lesson and made the same mistake. But looking back I think was being kind and warm but I think it just came off as being too available.

Aww that’s cute, that sounds like a new chapter in your life!! Im jealous, I’d love to get a dog as well but ill have to wait a few more years when things are more aligned. Beagles are adorable.

Hi Anita,

How are you?

Hmm, I don’t have that experience growing up to be honest. I think the reason for my actions is motivated by the need to take more responsbility than needed, and always wanting to blame myself more than I have to so that I have the opportunity for growth. Because in some ways, if I’m wrong that can only mean that I have more to improve and get better at. So I think you can say that I haven’t been fair and kind to myself.

I think I said things that made her feel unheard, misunderstood and alone? Ideally, I should have walked away and taken some space before engaging in anything at that point of time.

“Actually, referring to the title of your thread, it’d cause anyone to be stressed and anxious, maybe walking on eggshells, afraid of the next time you would say something imperfectly, something that would rub her the wrong way.” Yes you are absolutely correct.

Funnily enough she said the same thing about me that I made her feel like she had to walk on eggshells which made her anxious all the time. I genuinely have been trying to figure out what I did. And to be honest with you the biggest fight that we had was back in Jan and that’s the only thing i can recall that would trigger her to walk on eggshells? And for what it’s worth I took full accountability and apologized for those actions. The thing it was never easy for her to see past things and forgive and forget.

I don’t blame her though, I think she just never felt emotionally safe with me after our conflict and I think the relationship ran its course.

And to be clear I was never physically abusive or verbally abusive. And i’m quite positive in the last 4 months of being together, I was completely submissive and was always apologizing for things. Now that I say this out loud, that’s super embarrassing and I wish I didn’t do that. I think i should have walked away because she has every right to find flaws in me but if that’s the case then we’re not meant for each other.