I want to go back to the past and make the right moves, say the right things so I don’t end up in this position. I’m always in a cycle of being hopeful and going back to wanting to give up. I’m quite calm on the surface but everything inside me is brewing and idk how to move forward.

Thank you for your time and energy put into this. I will take some time to read thoroughly before responding. Thank you!

Sure! Have a good rest!

Hey! It’s been very rocky lately. I’m trying my best to deal with things myself. I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment :/

Hello Anita, I hope you had a great weekend. Can I send you a personal message to chat about some issues?

Q

Hello Anita,

What should I have written? I am currently in that “down moment” that I mentioned hahaha and I’m thinking hard about what I want to hear. I don’t exactly know what words can help me feel better right now. I’m trying to self-soothe by reminding myself that

1. I did my best at that point of time and was genuine in everything I did.
2. I simulate a rejection from her and practice accepting the situation and gracefully bowing out.
3. I tell myself if she doesn’t come back, I will 100% find someone better.
4. If it’s meant to be, it will be.

Q

Hello!

Thanks for reminding me. I went back to re-read everything and I cringed hahaha. I’m feeling a lot better now, way more confident and I can feel like I’m recovering well now.

“Later on, you shared that the two of you broke up in July and that you didn’t speak since the breakup.” A few posts ago, I wrote that I did reach out and expressed my interest in working things out. However, the response wasn’t particularly warm and at best in my most delusional state it was lukewarm hahaha. Anyway, I did make the mistake of trying to connect and chat over text. In hindsight, I should have just left her alone after expressing my interest but I think that’s life I have to make these kind of dumb mistakes and feel the consequences before I fully internalize it.

“What if you contact her and ask her if it’s truly over, as far as she is concerned.. if there’s any chance of getting back together..?” So I won’t be doing that because that will only put her on the spot and very very likely push her away. That’s kinda like relying on someone to give you closure when closure is something you should seek yourself. I’m living by “Why would I want someone who doesn’t want me? That’s so icky.”

Although I must admit, the desire to reach out comes and goes in strong intensity and it requires a lot of patience and discipline to not act on it. Maybe this whole relationship was really just a lesson for me for the next one. Life is strange.

Q

Hi Anita,

Hope you’ve been well.

I noticed, I have been quite frustrated recently whenever those thoughts come to my mind and i catch myself talking to myself saying “Please, not again, im tired of this”. The hardest part for me is drawing the line between ruminating and suppressing my feelings.

As much as I would love to accept the reality, I’ve been in this internal back and forth of wanting her back and it has been exhausting hahaha. Some days when I feel like I’ve made a breakthrough, the following day I just feel like complete crap. More noticeably, I notice myself feeling like “Moving on and dating other women feels like i’m cheating on her.” I feel so uncomfortable and partially disgusted for “cheating” and have to tell myself otherwise.

Thanks for hearing me out.

Q