Dear Meg, and other empathic friends who shared in response:

Thank you, because I have been struggling lately with this issue.  I think some of it arose from me turning 50 in May, and looking at no friends/socially safe interactions.

I have always had low self esteem, but have been working so hard to acquire self-acceptance and self-forgiveness.  Still, even yesterday, when I was met with some disapproval/dislike by a new friend in a topic I brought up, I cannot get over it.  I keep believing my old thoughts that there is indeed something wrong with me.  Nobody likes me…

I work on this by doing CBT now for 15 years, and working a 12 step program which has led to 12 yrs of sobriety.  I just want to feel ok, I mean that if others reject me, it does not make me wrong/bad.