Dear Anita,

Thank you for your message. I really don’t want to contact him or explain anything to him since this is the man who tried to publicly shame me and insult me. The second I saw this on the internet I gave up on him. The second a person takes it to the public arena (not anonymously like this) to me it’s a sign of great disrespect, immaturity and vengefulness. He knows very well how he behaved while we were together and I believe it to be completely uncalled for. I will keep my cool though at the event. Thank you again.

Thank you again. Maybe I should have asked whose fault it was. The thing is I was the restrained one, the not so emotional one. When he asked me to change my Fb status I asked him to wait and I told him it was too fast to do that. So on my part there really wasn’t any desire to go as fast as we did. He might have been pressured by his surroundings to get a girlfriend, but I really liked him for him. He never really bothered to get to know me while I soaked in everything he would tell me about his job and his life. I really liked him and caree about him.

Oh sorry since the avatar is the same for everyone I got confused. This makes more sense. He too mentioned I insisted on thisrelationship. He is a 30 plus year old man, had he not wanted to date me he could have told me that instead of being passive aggressive and punishing me for wanting to be with him. I definitely agree that he was scared all the time I would get upset but I only got upset when his behavior made no sense and once I would complain he would fight back. And i cant possibly see his behavior as accommodating me. He was not a good bf. And why on Earth would he want to please a girl he had just met? I don’t understand. He has no problem telling people off and getting into discussions at all.

He has said a few slightly negative things about his exes and stated he ended his last relationship because of his mental issues so he didn’t want to repeat the same mistake with me.

My friends generally think the world of him and have stated no concerning behaviours, but I don’t think they would say anything bad about him even if they thought something was off.

Thank you so much for your messages. I really appreciate it.

Dear Anita,

Thank you for your message.

He has a diagnosis for which he takes daily meds. He told me this about one month into our relationship. While I understand it is an incredibly difficult thing to talk about, he did attack me on several occasions prior to this for calling him out on his strange behaviour (not even thinking about the fact he actually might have mental issues). He told me he’s on daily meds and has days when he doesn’t want to talk to anybody. That I would understand, but even on good days he didn’t seem to be overly interested in spending a lot of time with me. When I complained about him cutting our text conversation short, he told me he was going through one of his episodes and I was making him feel guilty. But this episode was the day after our text conversation – so it did not apply. I understand he had days when he didn’t want to see me or talk to me, but there was also never days when he did. I felt so lonely, having this amazing person in my life, who wouldn’t let me in. And I tried – I really tried. And as we were breaking up he said some ridiculous things. He said we were not attached at the hip. Like seriously? He told me I was only thinking of myself and I offered so many times my assistance, a shoulder to cry on – but he wouldn’t let me close. How could I let myself love a person whom I don’t trust with my heart?

Thank you,

D.