Hey, I’m not sure how I dropped off of here. My son is doing very well. He put in the hard work in 2012-2013ish and lives in DC. Daughter is married 3 year now. I still don’t see the restaurant brother, but everyone in town does. They tell me they just saw him. So much for a relationship with him. He said something about me to one of his employees after I walked in and walked out of the restaurant in October 2015-yes, it still hurts. I want to ask him about that because I thought we got along. I know he will probably blow it off but it was hurtful at the time. The employee told me what he said about me. He has so much material stuff in life-property, 4 homes, I might have mentioned. The 4 million he got for the restaurant. I doubt my Dad would want things to be so unbalanced within our family, I might be wrong. And—–my husband keeps wanting to “borrow” money for his lawn care business, when he doesn’t get the bills out on time, people don’t  pay on time. My Aunt gave me some money and wanted it to go on our house to help pay towards that debt. I should have done what she said to do. I think many times that I wish I had never married him. That is another story. So, I’m just not a happy person. My husband and I have never gotten along, lived beside  family for 18years-of H***. He refused to move but finally did. The damage was done by that time. I didn’t want to live there in the beginning. I was so naive and dumb at 21. I wish I had left him years ago. 42 years later.  The kids love him even though he was mean to me when they were at home. Go figure. 

Anita I must say thank you again- you are the most support and helpful thinking that I feel I have ever received from online talking- I think even therapy. You are very good. I wish we could have a sit down. Truly. I bless you.
The restaurant— oh so much history-our family was known for it but not just that. So many memories of my Dad, his political friends, he would always introduce me to important men that he chatted with at the restaurant when I was there. He did make me feel special. One therapist did make a point that perhaps I had put my brother in my Dad’s place after a fashion, sort of, subliminally. Perhaps I did. But he was the closest to me in age, we were always close growing up, he took me on car rides before I got my license etc. We used to hang, you know. I always idealized him kind of like Dad. I know things change but I never thought his love for me would. We havent had words or anything, except our differences about things he did with the property/money issues which is on him. He changed. He is in a religion called The Way-they have to take a class called “Power for Abundant Living”. Ha. It sure worked for him. He believes so differently than the average person about God, Jesus, Heaven etc. Im off topic-sorry.
The restaurant has meant alot to the people in my town, people from afar. But its history now. My brother is pretty involved with the guy he sold it to, the name stayed the same. Ironic, the new owner’s last name is the same as ours! I say he is my brothers new brother!
As far as therapy, I don’t know if it has helped alot over the years. I got treatment for me so I could survive in this marriage. Anxiety, moods. Structure for the family, 2 kids. I wanted to try and get it right for them. Hubby never held back the argueing even in front of them, I would ask him not to argue in front of them but he wouldn’t listen. When my son was 3, I remember so well, hubby fussed me out, was so mean, went upstairs, I was crying at the table, my 3 year old son says, Mommy don’t cry. He is now 34. He was suicidal in 2012. He came home, I-we got him better. My son did alot of the work of course. He was on the streets of Philly crying, didn’t know what to do. He was cutting, I can’t remember all of the details now.
He seems fine now. Broke off an engagement at that time, he’s with another girl now. He is an awesome son. My 37 year old daughter is a nurse, married, is doing well. I guess we had some success with them. Neither wants any kids. I find that interesting.
I am coming to grips with how my brother is. Letting him go even tho it hurts. I just don’t understand. He sees my brother. I guess thats brothers. I just wish my life wasn’t so miserable. I don’t know how to change it. Yes, its a beautiful day, in NC. My kids are doing good at the moment. Thankfully. Things could be alot worse I guess.
I do thank you again for listening Anita. I think Ill go to the gym today as I have put on 5 lbs.
Pat

Thank you for a response Anita. I feel that my Dad, if he were still alive, wouldn’t want things to be so unbalanced financially. Some things were done when my Mom was still living, as she passed after Dad. That same brother took her to the lawyer repeatedly, she wasn’t in her right mind. I know that he coerced her into doing some things concerning the property around the restaurant that should have gone to my other brother and me. And, there was a life insurance policy to cover the inheritance taxes for 250,ooo$ that he pocketed and so he and his wife wound up with Mom and Dad’s very large house and  property since he was able to pay the taxes out of the restaurant. So he has done some shady things-I didn’t understand those things at the time, but years later I do now. He looks out for himself big time. No guilt. I would never ask him for money, the answer would be no. And he feels he deserves what he has. He was the favorite and like attention and is selfish, even though I have loved him so much. It just hurts that he has cut me out of his life. I know he’s enjoying himself which is good but to dc his sister. I was always nice to him. It just seems that the restaurant was a glue for all of the rest of us. I know life doesn’t stay the same forever. His son could have possibly run it with my other brothers help. But 4 million is a lot of money. He has no regrets. I am known as his sister in this smallish town. He is resting on the laurels of my Fathers legacy-He sold the history of the restaurant as well so the new owner claims the have owned it since 1945 when my Dad started it. That is a bummer. Sorry for the rant. We lost 2 dogs in a kennel fire last May as well. I guess last year just was hard and continues. Thank you