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April 28, 2013 at 9:12 pm #34955MaiParticipant
I found the title of this post very eye-catching because I related to it immediatley. After reading it, I couldn’t stop myself from registering in the website to answer to it.
So here I go.
I know what you’re going through. I know what it feels like to hear your parents saying dreadful words about each other, and I also share the fear of becoming one of them someday – hopefully I’ll learn to let go of it.
I think it’s great you’ve learned how to medidate, and to me it’s very clear you have your own perspective of the situation. You know how you feel about that, you’re not confused. I guess that’s the first step, which you’ve already taken maybe without even realizing you were doing so.
Now you should let them know how you feel. Keeping those feelings isn’t fair to yourself; besides, if you don’t let them know their behavior bothers you, they’ll never find out as they are too busy with their own problems.
Having said that, I should also say it won’t be easy. You don’t want to hurt their feelings, you might feel guilty, you don’t want to sound ungrateful. However, try to keep in mind you’re doing that not only for yourself, but for them as well. Maybe it’ll help them realize how they’re living, maybe they’ll even seek professional help afterwards. Maybe not. But if you don’t talk to them, not only will you become more and more anxious, you’ll also do your best to keep distance from them – which isn’t that good either. So go ahead and talk to them. You can do it! 🙂
Last but not least, I truly believe we won’t become like that, we can choose our own path, we can work on what bothers us. And we can learn from our family’s mistakes. I’m sure one day you’ll start to believe that and will finally let go of the idea of becoming one of them. 🙂