Yeah that makes sense.. I still feel like I’m still holding on even though I don’t want to. And everything I enjoy just reminds me of her hahaha so I’m not quite sure how to get past that at the moment. Or I find myself trying to fill that void by doing things I wouldn’t usually do. Do I just gligbire her and block her all together or?

I need to make a very big change for myself for the future. I don’t know how to go about it though, any suggests on how to take the hold of the steering wheel?

Thanks for the replies guys.

I totally understand where you are coming from @soopy. But studying is something I’d like to do.. More so I guess I’m scared of never having money and debt.

Doing the the trade is all about security and making money earlier. And having that life skill.

It’s funny how something so simple has derailed me haha

Hey joe, thanks for the reply.

I have thought of that somewhat, which could be good while I travel.

But I can get the idea of getting ‘ serious’ out of my head. I feel like I need my life to be sorted, even though I know it’s not the truth. It’s a battle against myself. I guess I don’t want to get to 30 and have nothing to show from it..

I feel like I need to do a trade or study now, rather then starting when I’m 30, I feel like it would be a lot harder by then.

Well it’s done..ended it.

Time for the next adventure 🙂

Yeah there is some sadness, Ofcourse, but I have to make the most of it.

We have spoken again and has said she can’t make it for my birthday, basicly I think it’s over.

She has said she is in love with me but she struggles. She isn’t sure if there is a future. She really wants it to work but is torn, she doesn’t understand why she can’t make more effort.

I just said to her ” then why did you let me come up, why say you are in it and love me etc” so that annoys me a little bit.

Well we had a chat the other night, and I though it went well.

And the next morning she messaged me saying have a good day and I’ll call you tonight, and then nothing, obviously then next morning I felt abit off about it and asked what happened, we spoke but it just seemed like she didn’t care really.

She wrote to me saying that when we lived together in our small town all there was me, but now That she has moved there is trying to juggle work, making and meeting friends, doing fun things, family time etc aswell as me at the same time, I understand that part, but asked her why at times it feels like there is no effort at all from her,

She said we are now just on different levels,then I asked her if she is Coming down for my birthday next week and it just seemed half hearted, ” oh I’ll have to check, I might have to work, I need the money” and to me that is such a bad excuse. 6 months ago I’d never hear this, she would have made all the effort in the world.

Am I being selfish and hard on her? Thoughts?/

for example id ask ” so do you want to be by yourself” and she will hesitate but will say i want you here, but im really enjoying alone time, i havn’t had it so long and i dont want to lose it, its nice not having to not look after you or the complaining, she says it in a nice way..but it doesn’t help me. she want me there, but doesn’t at the same time. so i think do i walk away or try it make that area better between us..hahaha hassle huh.

ive asked her everything ive needed to and so she does’t want to keep talking about it. it doesn’t help me what so ever.

Well I’m not sure, I’m where I am with our stuff that I was supposed to bring up..

Yeah I feel exactly what you said.

I just don’t know where this has come from, I visited her when she first started becoming distant and she was fine, then when I got back home it really kicked in, and I just don’t know why.

Like, she has she she is still in it and loves me, why is she not excited and communicating with me then?