I’ve been in a relationship on and off for 16 years and suspect it has been a narcisstic abusive relationship which ended with physical abuse in January.  I feel so broken and confused as I really thought this man was my soul friend and finding it so hard to let go and not contact even though deep down he is the cause of why I am feeling so depressed and suicidal.  I have good support of a counsellor and doctor but find it very hard to explain to anyone what I am feeling and every day seems a battle with tears and feeling so hopeless of ever recovering and moving on with my life.  I drank wine and took pills the other day because I couldn’t cope with feeling like this anymore but feeling better bit by bit every day.  I can’t understand what has happened and just want to feel like my old self again.