I want to thank you both for your gentle support.

@Anita: To answer your question, I’ll try to explain somewhat vaguely out of respect for my ex-partner’s privacy.

In the beginning, intimacy was mutual, but after around the three-month mark, I found myself being the one who almost always initiated it—and often faced rejection. With everything else going on in life, that continued rejection hurt much more than I expected. I tried to find different compromises, which he would agree to during conversations, but when the moment came, he would usually pull back. This ongoing tension became the main source of conflict between us. It truly saddens me that neither of us had the tools to talk openly about such a delicate and important topic.

Now, after the breakup, I’ve been reflecting a lot. I realize that the strain in this area, along with external pressures, clouded my judgment. I couldn’t fully appreciate him for who he was, and that has become my deepest regret. I think that’s why I miss him so much—not just as a partner, but as a person who was important in my life.

What still hurts is how quickly he moved on to a new relationship. It’s hard not to question what our relationship meant to him, and whether it was ever as meaningful for him as it was for me. I understand that there’s no going back, and I respect his decision to move on—but I’m still in the process of healing, and I know I need more time to truly let go.

How was your experience after your first breakup?