There are time where my feelings are hurt but he never lets me have my feelings. He always gets defensive and then it’s like I shouldn’t have the feelings and I end up saying sorry. Or he gets defensive and then the argument persists and he says mean things and I get upset but then he wants to be done with the argument. I can’t just walk away from the argument after hurtful things have been said. I always want to talk things out where he wants to be left alone. So then he feels like I corner him. The argument can be about anything little. Like I was going to make dinner the other night and even went food shopping on my lunch break. He knew I was making dinner and went to this gym that is about 25 minutes away and didn’t get home until 9:00pm. So I told him that it bothered me he did that when he knew I was going out of my way. But he turned it into “im not allowed to go to the gym”. When I see him tonight we are going to talk and I am scared that this will be it tonight. I am almost sure that is where it is headed. And I’m scared. I live with him an hour away from my parents. Yea not terribly far but I have my job by him and our dog that will most likely stay there because that “is her home”. I don’t know how to get through this.

It has been very painful after awhile yes but he is practically my everything. And I feel we both know we have come to a cross road where we need to take care of ourselves but I can’t picture my life without him. And none the less we have a dog together. I picked up my life and moved in with him. I’ve practically lost myself. And I have all of these what ifs about him being with someone else if we aren’t together.

I think if I saw that commitment then yes I would feel a little better. But now that I got everything off my chest I’m worried he would think that there was more then just the “thank you” text to my ex. I have a VERY guilty conscious so I would never ever cheat on him. That was the last text I sent to my ex and never answered him any time after that and actually tell my boyfriend if anyone tried to contact me. I’m just worried what I’m going to have to handle now that everything is off my chest