Hello everyone,

My situation, although certain instances are different and they are bound to be, seems to be following the similar patterns as explained by Avery and Sarah. This is our fifth year together and fourth year as a long-distance couple. He was a senior in grad school and he left for higher research soon after we started our relationship. Similar things followed: friends for some months, then falling for each other too soon, strongly committed, trying to stay together, looking for work(my SO did a five-month job just to stay near me and I am grateful for that), then applications started, and he moved out of the city. I could not join him within a year as my health was not by my side and hence I fared poorly in my college despite getting through the entrances in the other city. We have never really recovered from that. Then as luck would have it, my networks grew stronger in my own city and due to clashes with different exams, I had to stay back while he continued with his research in the other city. He actually blames me for this. And much more. My intentions were never right, I kept him in the dark, my family does not like him, and they interfere in our relationship. The usual drill. Now, I am exhausted. We both know that we need to break up but are not being able to. Maybe I am sounding a bit abrupt (it’s dawn and I am feeling dazed as he yet again blamed me for ‘taking him for granted’), but I seek counsel from you all. I hope situations are better with both Avery and Sarah. I have really identified with the red flags raised by Anita and I would highly appreciate if you could reply. I can email you further details and we can move the discussion there for personal correspondence. The reason I say this is because I have never gone public with my situation and would like to keep it private. I am at times afraid to even say certain things, like mundane stuff because I am not sure  what might trigger him off. I do not wish to continue like this anymore. I wish him the very best and he feels the same for me as well but I think we need to take a call.

Thank you so much in advance for going through the situation and to any comments that might come up.