Hi, my breakup was in October, it came out of the blue, actually we were away at the Cape and two hours before it happened my partner said to me that when we were done with dinner that we would go back to our room and ‘get close.” We had only been seriously dating for about 5 months. We are both widows, and live a distance away so we were going slowly, getting together usually just once a week, sometimes less. We both struggled initially as we had lost our partners about a year earlier so it was soon. We started as friends just getting together once in a while, over the late spring to summer and into fall all was well. She says that she at some point realized that she was not ready but she never expressed this until we were 5 hours away from my car, the ride back was horrible. I still cry every day. We talk or text once in a while, she says that she misses me and feels terribly about what happened but I get the sense now that she has gone back into the shell of helping out her family, who depend on her for many things, and whatever feelings she had went away. I don’t understand so much, especially as she initiated the first I love you, the tenderness, etc. I just feel so broken, started seeing a psychiatrist for anxiety. With the holidays here, my house on the market, the one that my deceased partner and I built 20 years ago, everything seems to be crashing down. Having so much trouble focusing on the good that happened, the risks that I took that I did not think that I could take again. I am glad to have found Tiny Buddha as I just need to write and vent sometimes, I get so lonely. And I miss her every day, even though she has distanced herself.
Cathy