Hey, thanks much, Anita! He hardly ever openly/aggressively hurt me (except for his losing his calm over religion-biased arguments a few times). All long he was only passively hurting me – by being a gentleman on the surface, being ‘a very kind man in spite of all the harm others have done to him’ in his mind, being manipulative, confused, attention-seeking and validation-seeking, commitment-phobic guy in real.

So stupid thoughts like “How could you be so rude to him when he didn’t really intend to hurt you? See, he always told you that he wanted nothing more than friendship from you, so expecting more and falling for him is your fault, why punish him?” etc. keep popping up. But you’re right. Whatever it is, intentional or semi-intentional or totally unintentional, I can’t let this continue. This is a great opportunity to practice putting the self first when it comes to harmful people, yes. I’ll work on it. Your moral support means a lot! 🙂

Hey, Anita, thank you for that! The fact that a fellow woman from somewhere understands feels like a warm hug this moment. 🙂

“Exiting the relationship with him now will prevent you from experiencing more harm to come.” – very true because with each new day, his flirtation/coming close to me emotionally & physically (even if we live in neighboring states and meet only occasionally) only increase, and so does the confusion of what I mean to him!

I can imagine him now – sad, laughing at himself, hating life in general, channelizing his aggression elsewhere (even if he doesn’t drink or smoke or do drugs or have sex), sitting alone in his room and either talking to somebody else the negative philosophies of life or shutting out from the whole world (like how he disconnected my call the last time wanting to be left alone), … And when he comes out of this frustration, when people enquire him about me, he’d sarcastically/philosophically say, “Oh! Some people… I help them so much, but they just leave me and go for no reason …” (Playing the victim, which he’s really good at, making others think that he’s the wounded gentleman and those who left him are heartless, because that’s how he talks to me about others.)

Have I really done the right thing by just blocking him, my friend? (I’ve been feeling a mix of both good and bad, good when rational and bad when emotional!)