Hi Jeff. I’m new on here and I just came across your thread. I too am going through the same thing. My husband of 12 years told me he loves me but isn’t in love with me anymore. He told me that he doesn’t get the butterflies with me anymore. He was out late after work the other night and spent that time talking to a girl that he found interesting. HEARTBREAKING! We are best friends and are always completly honest with each other. He didn’t do anything with this girl but talk. I guess she gave him a little attention and that gave him butterflies. I explained that that is completly normal and has happened to me but you don’t act on it. He told me that both of us are not happy and life is too short to live unhappy. At the time he told me this, my brain went into shock and honestly couldn’t think clear. I kept telling myself that we are happy. I am a stay at home mom of two kids, 11 and 13. I was scared thinking that we are going to get a divorce and I have no job, 2 kids, no college degree, and I’m almost 40. Both my husband and I had a long talk and we both want to be happy and to be happy with each other. We honestly have the perfect little family and are all very close. He told me that I was more like a roommate and not a wife. We immediately called to get counselling bc we owe it to ourselves and our children to try. I have done some major soul searching this past week. I realize that everything he said was completly true. I have been so caught up in caring for my kids and my house and having all this tremendous responsibility that I have completly lost myself. I have been going through the motions of life but no really living. This was the biggest eye opener to me. I have realized that I have been wound up so tight. I have been bitter and angry. I have put myself on hold to raise our kids. We are going to counselling now bc we both love each other and really want to make it work. In the mean time, I am putting a lot of effort now in making time with my husband, showing way more affection, and trying to not be so uptight and have fun. Before kids, I was never uptight and my main goal in life was to have fun. I am not just blaming myself but all I can do is improve myself, and if it doesn’t work out, know that it will be okay. Now in an hour I might not feel so confident and will probably be in tears. But I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and in the end, everything will be okay.