Hello Anita,

So the stalker and rapist were different people. I was stalked severely from the age 16-20. I didn’t know the guy because he was out of high school by the time I started. I still don’t know why he did what he did but it was hell. By my senior year I could attend any school activities or go out anywhere and I quit playing all sports. He threatened to kill me and would tell me he’s always watching. He would literally be in his car parked in front of the school or outside my practice. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone and all my friends thought it was funny. Once he broke into the school and vandalized all the hallways saying that he loved me. I got called into the office and had to explain to them I didn’t even know him. Thats the first time the cops were called but they told me they couldn’t do anything unless he physically hurt me. There’s a lot more to the stalking. He would constantly call me from multiple numbers. He’d even go to jail and still call me.

I started at my university at 18 but quit a year later because any guy that would approach me for a date would terrify me. I can’t explain the feeling because it was only that year in school. My stomach would curl up and I would either want to cry or I would get unnecessarily rude. I hated myself so I left. Then I worked and saved up about 10k while doing my basics at a community college. I then moved about 4 hrs away to start a new university. My dad got really sick so I took him home. I worked EXTREMELY hard figuring out how to get insurance for him but he needed help immediately and all my savings plus more went to his medically bills. It was one of the toughest things working, being home to make sure my dad ate and took meds, and class. I got no sleep. He got better and moved back to my hometown but I was left with debt and my last semester my gap was low. Because of my low gpa my next semester of school I have to pay out of pocket. Thats when I tried saving again but overtime something would happen and swipe me clean. The last one was the scammer and thats when I moved out of state.

My parents are still together and still in my life. They’re the closest family I have. But they’re not very supportive or go getters. My mom paid for the abortion and has literally never spoke of it again or asked me how I was. We don’t discuss our feelings. I’ve tried to bring up how my dad treated me when I was younger and she denies it.

I’m not sure if there’s a support group where I’m at but I’m sure there is. I live close to a big city now compared to the last town that was pretty small.