Thank you.  I think you’re right.  People who act like that seem to be pretty miserable, ultimately.  They have to live with themselves, and they are very, very unhappy.  They’re also pretty damaged.  I don’t think people who aren’t damaged have any desire to act that way.  As the saying goes, “Hurt people hurt people.”  That said, the fact that someone is acting out of damage doesn’t mean that I don’t get to draw boundaries when appropriate — that’s something I’m still working on.