Hi, Sarah, I hope you are coping and on your road to self forgiveness. I lost my beloved dog Chichi last year and I thought I have moved on but aftrr a year Im back to square one. she was living with my family with our other dogs as well, she got sick for over 1week, but vet didnt take her in said its just fever didnt do futhrr tests and meds will be ok. She was not eating for over 1 week and I didnt realize how serious that was bec she was a tough and strong dog never gets sick. I didnt get the chance to see her before she go, I’m about to go home 2 days before she died. It kills me everytime I go back to that day that I should have gone home to visit her when she’s sick but did not. I was tied up at work and some personal commitment but i had a choice, I always have a choice and I’ll forever regret what I did. I believe our beloved pets would not want us to suffer, would forgive us everytime, support and understand our choices. We need to forgive ourselves, It is hard but thats the only way. In your case I think you did what you think is best for her. We will heal, we will move on but will never forget them and I believe we will see them again waiting for us when the time comes. When I think about it, my fear of death fades.