Girl, I’ve got such a similar situation.

cPTSD and a sister who still remains stuck in our family. Our moms sound very much alike. And the way you describe your dad and uncle sounds a lot like the rest of my support system. Also the “crazy urge” to survive in the wild/war-time…eerily similar to the survivalist desires and dreams that I’ve had. This is all so hard.

I’m just starting to read “Will I Ever Be Good Enough?” Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Karyl McBride, Ph.D. and by god, is it pertinent to what what I –and I think you– might be dealing with. I highly recommend it.

Glad to hear you’re going to therapy, exercising, and meditating. What do you do for exercise? I think an exercise schedule would really help in times like this. If you haven’t already tried it, video games can also be used as a form of therapy. Clinical studies have shown that gaming can help alleviate the symptoms of PTSD up to 24 hours after playing. Even just Tetris works.

All the Best,
Nautica