Thank you, anita. I can see and understand the fault that both of my parents have in where their relationship has stalled. I wish I could do something but right now my Dad needs the help and support. I tried to make sure she understands that it isn’t choosing him over her it’s just that she has made it VERY clear she is independent and does not need us. I am trying to tread carefully because the few times I have tried to talk to my mom it has devolved into shouting and “you did this” matches. There is no changing the past but all I can do is take care of myself and my kids. I am very concerned about being around her or this man since she is intending to pursue a relationship with him and the divorce won’t be final for months. I think the hardest thing is that I feel like I don’t know who this person is. I know this isn’t the worst thing ever but it feels pretty awful. Thank you for your thoughts. I’ve been struggling with this for awhile.