Hi Anita,

I did try it 13 days ago. below is my email

”

You wanted to know what is stressing me so much and why am I so depressed.

I do not want to hide it anymore or it will kill me.

I feel guilty for lot of things.

1. I do not feel happy love, I feel I have taken away so much from my son. He deserved so much more and I could have done that for him.
I can’t do anything because its no more just him …. I cannot afford all the happiness for my baby the way I wanted to. When he was born , I promised myself to myself that when he is 3/4 I will start taking him for an overseas holiday atleast once a year. I wanted to show the world to him and I could easily afford to do that. But now I can’t. Even though your daughters can go and do whatever they wish to because they have so many people to fulfill their wishes. My son has just got me and I still can’t do it. I wanted to send my son to the best private school but when the time comes i again won’t be able to do it, I know that. He is my only child , I got him in my life after lots of prayers ( 7 years non-stop) and I wanted to give the world to him. I feel restricted and I want to be free to do whatever I want with my son.
I am living with this guilt and its all my fault.
2. My family – I miss them deeply.. you won’t even know the pain I am going through being away. I want to take care of my mother but our relationship restricts that. I know you would say its her problem. But she is the only parent I am left with and she needs me and I want to be there for her.I again feel helpless and restricted.
3. I feel pressurized raising a family of 5, i feel tired. I am so sorry but I have to say it. Its nothing personal for u or your kids. Its just I can’t handle the pressure , the expense , the restrictions. Its killing me inside. It is very painful. I could probably never say it upfront to you on your face but I had to tell u or else I will keep punishing myself. I love u a lot ( and I love your girls too.. u know it), no one has ever loved me or cared for me the way u do and its very special to me.
I am left here clueless what to do , how to solve these problems and I am not getting my answers. You are my best and only friend. I suffer . I need your help and not any more guilt.”

His reply

“I’m sorry baby I love you to0. I don’t know what to say love I guess only you can make any decisions about those things, I wish I could provide more for you, I’m sorry , your son is doing well in school though so that’s a good thing. About your mum though I don’t know what to do love .I’m sorry your family won’t accept me I just hope the tough times don’t last too long ”

And nothing after this. I also thought this is the best way to communicate but I need his help to support my decision, but he clearly says ” he doesn’t want us to break up”

Hi Anita,

Their relationship is fine and my ex is here in the same city. My son n ex have a very close bond. He even likes my partners daughters to some point but he waits for them to go to their mothers house. My son lives with me full time and goes out with his dad over the weekends (during day time). My ex lives with his friends at the moment so he doesn’t want my son to stay there and his job timings also makes it difficult to manage school etc at the moment. That’s another reason I feel really bad that this restricts the time they both want to spend together. If I was by myself with my son my ex could come whenever he wants to see my son and we could even take him out on holidays together which my son longs for. I can’t do any of these because there is another man and there is jealousy. I feel restricted. And it’s logical too .. I would expect this from his ex and him. But all this makes me think that out of all the mess it’s my son who is struggling the most. Considering all his cousins and family are overseas he is just restricted to us and that too not all the time , whereas my partners daughters have both grandparents , uncles /aunts , cousin to pamper them so it doesn’t really bother them. I just don’t know how to be fair and do what I should be doing